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Volcano "The Moon Outside My Window" (Satirical Novel) (33) Santa Claus

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  Volcano
  
  
  
  "The Moon Outside My Window"
  
  (Satirical Novel)
  
  
  
  
  (33) Santa Claus
  
  
  
  
   From then on Salima, Genghiskhan and I started living in friendship and harmony. Days and months went by, and now we were on the threshold of New Year"s Day!
   It was New Years Eve. We set up a plastic Christmas tree adorning it with multicolored toys and flickering lights. We laid the table. Salima had prepared a tasty shurpa and roast meat with potatoes. We were in a festive mood. I went up to Salima and hugging her from behind started kissing her. She tried to free herself from my hugs whispering:
   - What are you doing? Let me go, Genghis is there. Shame on you..
   She slipped away and raising the wooden ladle attacked me like a fencer. I took the lid of the
  saucepan to defend myself. Then I walked up to the door where Genghiskhan stood encouraging
  his mom:
   - That"s it! Strike him! On the head, hit him on the head!
   Salima started striking me furiously. I ran out into the street. It was dark, and it wassnowing
  heavily. The wistful trees were covered with snow which seemed to illuminate the night. I heard
  the sound of happy laughter and the shout of a drunken man in the distance.
   I was still defending myself. Then "combat support" came to Salima. It was Genghiskhan
  who suddenly pushed me back. I slipped and losing my balance fell down. They threw snow at
  me. I shouted and laughed. Then I looked and saw them sit and pant laughing. I picked a handful
  of snow, made a ball and stuck it in Genghiskhan"s bosom and ran to the house. They ran after
  me. As we entered the house we couldn"t stop laughing. Breathing heavily we went into the
  sitting-room. Salima went to the kitchen. Half an hour later we sat down at the table to have
  breakfast. We sat eating, drinking and chatting without taking account of time. Time flew. When
  the clock struck 12 I opened a bottle of champagne and poured it out When we raised the glasses
  Santa Claus has suddenly come in. Frankly speaking, it was quite unexpected. We were so
  Happy! We greeted him and invited him to table. I poured him a glass of champagne, and we all
  drank. Then we sat together eating and making merry. "It"s such a joy to sit at table with genuine
  Santa Claus at Christmas party" - I thought - One might as well die from such happiness!"
  - I say, Jack Frost, I have never received a gift from Granny Frosts - I explained - your
  arrival is a big gift for me.
   Wiping his greasy lips with a napkin Jack Frost said:
  - I have brought gifts for all of you. You will have one as well. Let me give them to you
  before I get drunk. Come on, let"s get up quickly.
   We rose from the table..
   - Can you recite poems? - Granny Frost asked me.
   - Yes- I answered.
   - Then come up close to the Christmas tree and read.
   I went up to the adorned tree and started reciting the poem:
  
  O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
  How are thy leaves so verdant!
  O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
  How are thy leaves so verdant!
  
  Not only in the summertime,
  But even in winter is thy prime.
  O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
  How are thy leaves so verdant!
  
   Granny Frost clapped his hands:
   - Good for you. Will you close your eyes?
   As I closed my eyes he said:
   - Now lift your foot and stand like a stork
   I did as he said and stood waiting for the gift. Now all of a sudden I literally flew off from a powerful blow in the face, crushing the Christmas-tree, while Jack Frost continued walloping me
  scolding me like anything.
  - Why, what"s the matter, Granny Frost, are you crazy? Why are you beating me? What
  have I done to you? Don"t hurt me! I"m a war invalid!
   But he didn"t stop. I had to defend myself until he had totally crippled me. As he came close to me I hit the angry Granny Frost in the groin with my good foot. He bent down and fell. I got up. Then, taking him by the collar, I hit him again in his muzzle. Jack Frost bashed his head against the sideboard crushing the crystal vases and the quaint chinaware. He was lying amidst the splinters, without his glued mustache and beard. Closing her face with her hands Salima cried out. Genghiskhan bent down, put his hands round his neck and shouted:
   - Father! Daddy! At la-a-ast! You have come back, eh? Sorry, dear, we didn"t know!
   I realized at once that it was Geghiskhan"s father Hasil who had been doing time in Karaulbazar prison under Bukhara. I felt ill at ease. I was at a loss not knowing what to do. Thank God, the neighbors called the militia and they arrived. They drew up the report, and I was taken to - gosh! - the sobering-up station, one of the worst places I had ever been to!
   Caught like stray dogs the boozers slept snarling. Some were raving, others were letting the air out that resounded like the distant wistful hooter of an atomic vessel breaking the ice in Arctic Ocean.
   There were stinking feet and worn through socks scattered around like badly smelling chemical weapons of mass destruction.
   There were no windows in the cell. The door was thick and iron-shod.
   I could hardly hold out till morning. In the morning the iron door opened and I, like a centaur, started greedily breathing in the fresh air. I looked around and behind the bar saw militiamen filling in some forms. Then a militiaman, as thick as a hog, with no neck, entered the cell, a bundle of belts in his hands. He threw the belts down to our feet. Everybody chose a belt to his liking. I found a cheap belt with a crocodile"s picture on it. As I adjusted the belt to my trousers a militiaman called me:
   - Hey you, Satan, the one who beat Jack Frost, what is your name?
   I told him my name, and he put it down. Another militiaman fixed his malicious eyes on me and said:
   - What a rascal! What an ungrateful jackal! Granny Frost had brought him gifts, and he walloped him! The brute! If the law permitted I would strangle you with my own hands!
  I did not respond. Then he made a roll-call. Then they started giving the boozers over to
  their relatives who had paid the fine.
   I waited thinking: "What a disgrace! Nobody is going to come and take me out of here. I have no relatives left. Nor do I have money to pay the fine".
  Suddenly, the militiaman who had scolded me called me again:
   - Hey you, lame man, go over there!
   I did as he said and saw Javatokhun standing there. I dropped my eyes. I was ashamed of
  the Master. He squeezed my shoulders and said smiling:
   - You are not to blame. I heard everything. Never mind, don"t worry. Everything will be all right. Don"t go there any more. Sunnatillo will bring your things. You will be living with me again.
   On hearing that, I felt as if I had a blackout before my eyes.
  
  
  
  
  
   shurpa (shurva or shorva), Uzbek cuisine - a soup made of large pieces of fatty meat (usually mutton) and fresh vegetables
  
  
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