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Volcano "The Moon Outside My Window" (Satirical Novel) (23) The Medication

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  Volcano
  
  
  "The Moon Outside My Window"
  
  (Satirical Novel)
  
  
  Translated from the Russian by Alec Vagapov
  
  
  
  (23) The Medication
  
  
  
   Kalankhan Adalatov"s illness was aggravating with every passing day. Since he was afraid of the operation we had to turn to the local medic Khabib-Tabib for help. He had long examined Kalankhan Adalatov and finally said:
   - Nothing terrifying. It"s just your problem with indigestion. There"s no ulcer. I will give achiktash which you will take three times a day after lunch. It will decompose the food which is hard for your stomach to digest.
   Kalankhan Adalatov sighed with relief:
   - Oh, really? Are you sure? Well, doctor, you have really made me happy. Thank you ever so much. We"ve got achiktash at home. Thank you for the diagnosis.
   - Kalankhan Adalatov thanked Khabib-Tabib, and we returned home. We had scarcely entered the room when Adalatov cried:
   - Tarzana!
   She came out running and said:
   - What is it?
   - Go into the sitting-room and see if there a little a pouch on the upper shelf of the cupboard. Bring it to me.
   Tarzana Nikolayevna went to fetch the remedy while Kalankhan Adalatov turned to me saying:
   - Al Kizim, you go and bring some water.
   I ran to fetch the water. Tarzana Nikolayevna brought the pouch and gave it to Adalatov. He opened it and took the medicine. I gave him the water.
   Before taking the medicine Adalatov uttered: "Ba niyati shifo". The words meant "may I recover from illness".
   Opening his mouth wide he put achiktash under his tongue and drank the water I had brought. When he drank it there came a fizzy steam and a sparkling sound like that of gas water. Adalatov gripped his hands round his throat and muttered widening his eyes:
   - Ukh -Ukh! Al Kizim, I"m feeling bad! I am all burning inside! Help! It feels as if I have swallowed a flame! Water! Water! Give me water!
   - Taken aback and all at a loss, I ran to bring some water and brought a whole bucket of it. But it didn"t help.
   We carried him in our arms to the mattress and put him on it gingerly.
   He was getting worse and worse. Tarzana Nikolayevna tried to encourage her husband:
   - Come on, don"t worry! You are like a little boy! Have patience! It will pass.
   Presently, Adalatov was foaming at the mouth. He called me, and I came up to him.
   - Call Falankhan - he said.
   I did as he said, and we came up to him. Adalatov said:
   - Al Kizim, Falankhan, if I die, bury me in the Christian grave-yard. You promise?
   We started crying.
   - You shouldn"t say that, master - I said - it will pass.
   - No - he said confidently, and added with a hissing sound - that"s the end. I am done for.
   Tarzana Nikoayevna burst out sobbing, ran out into the porch and called in an ambulance.
   Adalatov said :
   - Al Kizim, do promise me that I will be buried in the Christian Cemetery.
   I wept as I nodded meaning to say "yes".
   Now we saw Adalatov"s belly swelling badly. It looked like a hippopotamus"s swollen paunch. We covered it with a blanket, and then suddenly - bang! - it burst under the cover. Taken aback, we jumped off our seats while Kalankhan cried like mad:
   - Father! Mamma! Mom!
   Tarzana Nikolayevna came up running. On seeing the terrible scene she fainted and fell down. I took her up. The neighbors, too, came to see what the fuss was all about. Then the ambulance car arrived. The doctors examining the case were brooding over it. Presently, Tarzana Nikolayevna came round. The doctor with the stethoscope asked:
   - What has the patient eaten of late?
   - Achiktash - Tarzana answered and went out to bring the pouch.
   The doctor opened it and taking a piece out examined it carefully. Then he said:
   - It"s carbide used by gas welders.
   All those present stood struck dumb with astonishment for a moment. Then, as if awoken, all shouted like one:
   - Oh, my Lord!
  
  
  
  
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