Jack looked out of the illuminator. The big white clouds were flying below the plane. Thirteen hour journey - San Francisco, Saint-Petersburg, Russia. He turned his head away from the light and closed his eyes. "God, let it be this time. I feel the time is now," he prayed. Some people become suddenly religious on planes. He was not like that. He prayed often.
This was his lucky third time of going to Russia to try to meet the girl of his dreams. He dreamt of a young, beautiful cool girl. He always wanted to meet and get married to a girl like Darya- the spy in the 80s movie "The Agent" . What a girl. The girls in America who would go out with him did not measure up to his high standards of beauty and elegance. The ones that he might have liked would never go out with a shy thirty year old geeky guy like Jack. Here was his problem and he thought that if he married someone from Russia he would be cool too. Being from USA and all. As the flight attendants were offering drinks and slowly moving from one end of the plane to the other he thought,- "I will marry her and save her from "Mother Russia" and she will be grateful to me and she will look at me like I"m her prince." He imagined himself sitting on a big white horse and in a purple silk fairy tale outfit. It was funny and he started laughing to himself. As he chuckled, Russian old lady in the next seat gave him the look.
He closed his eyes and stretched his legs. He started remembering the other times that he went to Novgorod, a provincial town outside of Saint-Petersburg. He remembered the girls. Some were too serious. "Who comes on a date in a long dark dress and thick stockings? My grandma, that's who." Jack opened his eyes, unbuckled his seat belt and found to his surprise that the old lady was studying him . He smiled at her and the woman turned away from him mumbling something to herself.
Jack looked straight ahead. He reached for a magazine that was tucked away on the back of the seat in front of him. Jack leafed through it, turning the pages aimlessly and thinking that some girls were too provocatively dressed for his taste. They showed up with a lot of make -up, blouse too tight, breast showing too much, too short a skirt and huge heels. "Whores- who would marry a girl like that?" Even though his mother was dead, he always pictured her approving or disapproving of his bride. "No, mom would not like a girl like that." Because they did not speak any English, Jack talked with the girls with Inna's help, the translator who worked at the agency. She would go on all of the dates and translate who said what. It was awkward. Oh God. It was awkward. After he asked the girl a question, Inna and the girl would talk in Russian first. He could see that they were trying to come up with the answer he would like. How was he supposed to know what the girl was really like? To tell the truth, they were all very friendly and liked him a lot. He could feel that because they would laugh at all his jokes as soon as Inna translated them and they would touch his arm and they would invite him to come up for tea when it was time for the date to end. He sort of kissed and fooled around with some of them in the course of these two trips, but could not find his bride. Either they intimidated him when Inna wasn't around or he would lose interest as soon as he finished.
For some reason in Russia he was not shy. Everything felt different. Food and water tasted different. The air was different. And Jack himself felt different. He felt like a hero on a mission. He felt invincible and terrified at the same time. Jack had a feeling that whatever was happening to him was not taking place in real life. At the same time he felt disbelief that these exciting things were not a part of a crazy dream but were really happening. That is why he was flying to Saint-Petersburg again. To find the girl, to feel the thrill of unreality. But actually, to find the girl.
The plane finally arrived. The usual applause that accompany a safe transatlantic landing brought a sense of relief. Tired, the passengers lined up to leave. It was dark outside. As they were exiting and saying their "Thank yous" to the crew, the old woman looked at Jack for the last time. He smiled. "Good Bye, lady," he thought to himself. And she sternly looked at him and said something in Russian that sounded like "Bud ostorozen". Jack only nodded and smiled politely as he didn't understand Russian. He decided to remember these words phonetically and ask Inna later what they meant. He had an idea that he could learn some Russian like that.
He needed to catch a taxi to Novgorod and find his hotel. A short bald guy in a black leather jacket showed up out of nowhere. In broken English he explained that he would take Jack wherever he liked. They argued over the price. The short guy was very greedy. Jack was not going to spend this kind of money on a taxi. It took them a great deal of negotiations and they had to use all their collective knowledge of English and Russian to come up with an agreeable price. Finally, they walked to the short guys car.
The air was so cold. Freezing. The wind was hurting his face. It seemed to Jack that the bluish white snow was all around. Snow was under his feet and coming down from the night sky. "It would be enchanting," he thought, "if it wasn"t so damn cold."
He did not remember the air being so harsh when he came to Saint-Petersburg before. It must have been a record low temperature even for this place because all the people who were leaving or coming toward the building of the airport were hurrying and covering their faces with scarves of different colors so that only their eyes were visible. It was kind of scary to go to this car with this strange man but Jack didn't have much choice plus he felt the wave of brave guy-scared guy thing coming up as they were getting into the Soviet- made car. It looked very primitive. Like a big squared soap dish but it had a comforting yellow sign "Taxi" on the roof.
The car reminded him of the cars in the movies about Russian spies. He liked those movies. The driver gestured at him and he understood- - "Sit wherever you like" and Jack noticed that the fingers of both of his hands were adorned with Russian letters. "Jail tattoos," thought Jack. He thought it would be safer to ride in the back of this so -called car. The driver started the car very loudly, said something in Russian to himself, opened his door a little, disgustingly spit on the ground and without starting the meter, closed the door and pushed the pedal.
The car started moving fast. He did not say anything after that. Jack was looking out of the window. He saw many lights, images of tall dark buildings were moving before his eyes. He noticed that they were not in the city anymore and on their way to Novgorod. The road, the driver and him. He thought that he was in the middle of nowhere and this guy could easily kill him and nobody would find out. He thought that the this fella was handling the car as if it were a get- away vehicle and they were in the middle of a high speed chase. And also he thought that he was getting one step closer to his dream.
The car finally stopped near a very old tall structure. It was already light out and Jack could see through the grey window of the taxi that a couple of letters on the sign were dark and others were flickering. This was his hotel. He stayed here two times before when he came to Novgorod. He paid the driver and got out of the car. His legs were killing him. Damn Russian junk. The driver helped Jack to get his luggage out of the trunk. He didn't say anything as they parted except he bent a little, closed one of his nostrils and blew his nose very loudly. Slippery goo hit the ground next to Jack's left shoe. "She would be happy to get away from this place," he thought.
Jack picked up his luggage and got inside the semi-dark lobby. He recognized the nice receptionist lady. After a very elaborate word dance trying to understand each other because she could not place him in her memory, she finally established his identity. He got the keys to his room upstairs. It was spacious. There was a bed, a chair and a table but the walls were bare. "This will have to do." He was so happy he was still alive and the killer cabby turned out to be a regular guy. Tomorrow he would go to the "Married for Life" agency and Inna would set up his dates with prospective brides.
When he saw Inna at the agency the next day, they hugged.
"Inna!" exclaimed Jack. "How great to see you, old friend. You look great. How is Misha?"
"Oh, you are not bad yourself! Misha is 6 already."
"Wow, time flies. They grow up so quick."
"Yeah, especially when you are not the one taking care of them," Inna smiled. He always noticed how cute the little lines around her mouth were when she smiled. She was in her early thirties. Single mom living with her parents. She knew English and French. The agency assigned his case to her on his previous visits. She was easy to be around. Light. But not pretty. She was sort of plain and she didn't do anything to make her appearance stand out. She did not follow trends in make- up and clothes.
"Anyway," Jack said.
"When are you getting off? Let's pick Misha up and go get candy."
"Ok, sure. Now, let's find you a bride."
She was such a good friend. Inna was rooting for him and reassuring him that third time is a charm according to Russian tradition. She told him before he meets any girls he absolutely must meet her friend. She is new to the program.
"Never met any Americans before. She didn't even want to do her interview tape. I made her do it." Even before Jack was able to say what he thinks about any of that, Inna put the cassette in the VCR and pushed "play." At that moment Jack saw Katia for the first time.
She was sitting before the cameraman and talking in Russian. Inna started translating for Jack what Katia was saying. She is a student at the University. She loves to read. Inna was going on and on. Jack tuned her out. "She is beautiful, but not in the obvious way. Her nose is kind of small, but goes with her face , sort of." There was an absence of anything pretentious like he saw in so many other Russian girls. She appeared easy-going, simple and so beautiful.
"I want to meet her first. Sure, Inna".
Inna picked up the receiver and called Katia.
They had some time before the date and Jack and Inna picked up Misha and went to larek to get him candy. Jack was surprised how the little boy had changed in a year. He gave him a toy tractor he brought from America and watched the boy's face light up as he was inspecting the wrapping paper.
"Just rip it, Misha," said Jack.
Inna said that in Russia people open presents slowly and like to enjoy the process. Misha slowly opened the paper and when he saw the box he was beside himself with joy. Jack noticed that Inna's eyes teared up as she watched her son. They got some candy and walked a little in a square in front of Inna's parents' house. They dropped Misha to be with Inna's parents before going to meet with Katia.
In the evening all three of them went out. Walked for a while and ended up at the café where they sell ice cream and soda. This place smelled of cold and vanilla. Inna asked if they wanted cognac with their ice cream and Jack said ,"Whatever Katia wants."
Katia said that she would like a drink, "sure."
He"s been to this place before. Today it seemed more festive than he remembered. "They must have remodeled and spruced up the place a bit," thought Jack as he was carrying cool aluminum bowls filled with ice cream to the table where the girls were waiting for him. Looks like the walls are covered with new bright paint. "Like a brothel in Southern France." Of course he had never been to a brothel. Seen it in an old movie.
" How was your journey here?" Katia asked through Inna.
"It was great, but I did not expect it to be so cold," said Jack.
"This winter is very cold. One day it was -40- degrees Celsius."
" I"m glad I missed it then," said Jack.
"You would have been here earlier," said Katia.
" Would you have liked that?" He was awkwardly looking at Inna as he was saying that. She translated.
"I don't know yet," said Katia and looked away.
He got the chance to study her profile. She is attractive. Why is she looking for an American husband? Katia was talking to him without first consulting Inna like some other girls did. They chatted. Finally got their drinks.
Jack toasted, "Za zdorovie!"
The girls congratulated him on his effort to learn Russian. They sipped their cognac and Jack had his in one shot. He had seen Russian men do it and wanted to do it too. Vanilla ice cream was refreshing as he began to transition into the warmth produced by Armenian cognac.
He felt that this whole place was great. These red chairs and tables, red walls, New Year ornaments at the bar, the sweet smell that permeated it. The café was spectacular. As they spoke he felt that he loved his life. Everything about it. Feelings of well- being, excitement and joy overcame him.
She studied mechanical engineering. He was a software engineer. She lived with her parents. He lived with his dad. He loved classical music and she was a fan, of course. Neither of them had been married nor had children. It just hadn't happened. That was all.
"Maybe it's because I just met you today," said Jack and felt that perhaps he shouldn't have said that. Too rushed.
But Katia and Inna seemed to be fine with that comment. "Russian women are more simple, more accepting, and more forgiving," thought Jack.
They ordered more cognac before going home.
"It is a good idea to drink alcohol with ice cream. Is that a Russian thing?" asked Jack.
"More like European", said Katia.
"More like European,"said Inna and added that that was true.
"What is the difference," thought Jack, but he did not ask aloud because Inna and Katia put a lot of emphasis that in Russia a lot of things were "European." Whatever the hell it means, it meant something to them and he wasn't in a hurry to find out what. Later he learned that some Russian people take pride in thinking that Russia is very "European" and Katia and Inna were like that.
"Are you still cold?" Inna asked for Katia.
"My hands are a little bit cold from the ice-cream,",said Jack and rubbed his palms.
Katia slowly reached out to him and took his hands into her hands and breathed warm air onto them.
She smiled at him as she looked up at Jack to see his reaction. He was more surprised by this than anything else. He noticed that Inna was studying his reaction as well.
Jack said, "Well it was very nice. I hope we can see each other again soon." He moved his hands away slowly. It was time to go home. The place was closing down. They left the café. He thanked Katia, hugged Inna, and they parted.
Jack went to his hotel. He laid down in his clothes on the bed. The room was spinning. He decided that tomorrow he would tell Inna to cancel all his other dates and arrange another date with Katia.
"Katia's hair was like the spy's from the movie Darya's. Dating Katia was almost like dating a spy. No it was not. Dating a spy you would not see them often because they would be on the secret missions all the time and you would not know they were a spy, of course, because they would be good. God, I"m drunk. How strong is cognac anyway?" Jack usually drank beer or wine and hadn't been that drunk since his days at UC Davis.
They dated for a few days. Exactly ten days. He learned that compared to some other men who were in Katia's life he was quite a catch and that is why she was looking for a foreigner. Even though she loved her motherland and it would be devastating to leave she would consider immigration for the right guy. He also knew that he was smitten with her. Inna said that if Jack was serious he had to propose before he went back to USA.
"Propose after ten days? That sounds absurd,"said Jack to Inna.
" How did you think it worked? You propose, go back to USA, apply for fiancée visa for her, and then she can come to live there with you."
"I understand, it must be scary for you, but everybody is doing it this way in the program,"- Inna normalized this craziness for him.
Jack was back in his room after talking to Inna. He wasn't convinced at this point. He liked Katia, of course. But did he like her enough to propose? What could determine that? He sat on his bed puzzled for a few moments.
"I must sleep with her, then my head will be more clear," he thought to himself and at the same time he knew that he didn't just wanted to get certain whether to propose or not. He wanted to be close with her. That was pretty much all he could think of Thursday when Katia was at the University all day. He got a taxi and met her in front of the University building.
She was surprised to see him without Inna.
How were they going to communicate? She gestured raising her hands and smiling.
He said in English,"By ourselves"
She shook her head, "I don"t understand."
He showed - "You, me, go out"
She nodded," OK"
They got into a cab. Jack told the driver- "Hotel Novgorod". The young driver in glasses made a remark to Katia. She laughed ,"Net. Net."
Jack asked, "What is he saying?"
Katia shook her head and Jack could see she didn't understand what he was saying.
Jack was using his hands-"You, me, go to my room??"
He was saying English words slowly, but that didn't help. Katia didn't know any English.
As they drove up to the hotel Katia finally began to comprehend what he was asking. She nodded "OK. OK. Great."
They were getting up to his room. Jack was holding Katia by her hand. "What if she is still a virgin?" quickly thought Jack. I"m not going to insist then. He turned the light on as soon as they got into his room. They sat on the bed next to each other holding hands. Jack could not move. " What if she is a virgin. She is twenty for God"s sakes." That thought confused and paralyzed him. He was holding her by her hands and pretended to gaze into her eyes as he absolutely did not know what to do with her at this point. "Like an idiot." He suddenly turned into himself- the shy guy. Few uncomfortable minutes passed like that. Then Katia stood up and turned the lights off.
Next thing he knew, they were lying under the covers, and the whole thing was over. He could not remember what happened exactly except that it was gentle and rough and awesome. "She isn"t a virgin. You-damn fool," he was smiling to himself as he was falling asleep.
Next morning, Katia went to University and Jack went to "Married for Life." He found Inna.
"What am I supposed to do? How do you propose in Russia?"
"I will ask Katia to invite you to meet her parents."
Saturday, two days before he was leaving for America, he and Inna bought flowers and went to Katia's parents' house. They lived in a different part of town in a tall building with a long stairway that lead to their flat.
Finally they met. Everybody was anxious. Katia's parents definitely appeared so. He later learned that her mother was very nervous because her father was prohibited from talking to Jack. Katia's father was very particular about guys and everybody was afraid that he might say something inappropriate to this dear guest, the American. They were very warm and prepared a huge table full of Russian zakuska. Katia's mom was asking Jack to try this and that. Everything was glistening with loads of fat and looked very weird to Jack. He was always a picky eater plus on this table he could not recognize any Russian food that he knew. Inna said that it was because these were dishes people make only for big holidays. She said it was very impolite to refuse. Russian people take it very seriously. He put on his plate something that looked like potato salad.
At some point Katia's mom started insisting that Jack tried her tomatoes that she preserved herself. Jack started to chew a slimy, cold, and vinegary dish. Katia's mom asked if Jack was married before and rather than answering, he just wanted to spit out her awful tomatoes but instead he swallowed and proceeded to tell her that he came close once. She was a nurse and often worked nights and evening shifts. So they had to break up because they hardly saw each other. "And because she cheated on me with a doctor," he did not say that out loud. As they talked, Inna was getting drunker and Jack got a little bit tipsy himself. He said that he would like to ask Katia's parents for her hand. They said "Yes." Everybody toasted the couple.
As Inna and Jack left Katia's parents' flat it was very cold and dark. Inna could hardly stand on her feet. She was going to signal a taxi. They were both wasted and he had to practically carry Inna to the cab.
"Inna, I wanted to ask you. What is "Bud ostorozen?"said Jack.
"It"s like "Be careful". Why are you asking?" said Inna.
"The old woman on the plane was like," Bud ostorozen."
"She did? What does she know?"
They were silent for a moment.
"Inna, do you feel like there is a soundtrack to your life and only you can hear it?" said Jack.
"No, I don"t," said Inna. "I don't hear any music. Do you?"
"Oh yeah. Now it is going "We Are the Champions". Do you know that song?" Jack started singing crescendo "We are the champions, my friends..." Inna joined him. They were in the back of the cab and singing very loudly. The driver shook his head as he looked into the rear view mirror. He was not surprised as he has seen a lot in his day.
Jack felt slightly nauseous from the tomatoes and elated from the proposal but mostly drunk. Jack felt that Inna understood this music and his language. These last two weeks in Russia she was the only person who could understand him. He looked into her eyes and knew that she knew that he was the champion. Number one. Jack stopped singing and kissed Inna. She kissed him back. When they got into her apartment she said that her parents and Misha were at the dacha. Jack was feeling very free like he was back in college when the kisses were wet from alcohol and it was a one night stand and that was OK because you were only young once and your mother was not here. They started rocking melodically and taking each other clothes off.
Inna said,"And now, dear listeners, if you would like I can sing "Don"t Speak" by Gwen Stefani." She almost knocked over a lamp.
"Oh, I love it," said Jack.
Both of them were lying in bed and singing and working the melody like only drunken people could. Instead of dancing there was love making. Sure they knew it was wrong and in the morning they were going to be sorry and maybe there would be crying and sadness but now they were happy and safe. Maybe Jack felt immediate remorse after the proposal as a lot of guys do and got scared. And maybe the proposal made Inna think about her own life. And how she was a single mom with no prospects. Katia didn't know his language nor American traditions. Be as it may. Cards will fall where they will and they fell in such a way that when the morning came nobody cried. Inna and Jack were not sad. They both knew that there would be a very long email to Katia, then another plane ride to California for him. Then Jack would take a day off and go to INS. He would take one application for a fiancée visa and fill it out. In the line "applicant" he would put Jackson Luke Anderson III. In the line "fiancée" he would put Inna Mikhailovna Kulikova.