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The Irony of Fate

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   The Irony of Fate [Славянский Владимир Владимирович]
   The Irony of Fate
   A Tajik folk tale
  
   In the old days there lived a rich man in a city - Agha. Every morning after his breakfast he used to have a rest lying on a sofa, on the top of seven blankets. Sometimes he called his wife and began to blow his horn:
   "Hey, woman, you are swimming in luxury and prosperity under the shadow of my brilliant mind and my inexhaustible wealth. Women all over the city pay honour to you, an ordinary and poor girl, because of my high status position and far-reaching influence. Only thanks to my good fortune, you have never felt hunger and thirst. A thousand times you should praise the Almighty for your wise and intelligent husband!"
   All this time the wife of Agha stood before him bowing her head. She was totally overawed by her husband.
   Every day she got up before dawn. She had been on the fly all day long, cooking meals, feeding the cattle, milking the cows, sweeping the yard or cleaning the house. In the evening, she used to cook tasty treats for friends of her husband and then she served his insatiable guests. The greedy master had not given her helpers, and the good woman coped with all the work by herself. Moreover, she embroidered skullcaps at odd moments, after all the cases. The woman next door then sold them at a high price, and the wife gave all the money to her husband.
   One day, when the rich man began to praise himself and to blame his wife for the nth time, she could not be patient any longer and said:
   "For a long time I was also thinking that only thanks to you I have been clad and shod. But over time I realized that there was a large share of my work in increasing your wealth, and you have no reason to reproach me."
   It was the first time when the man heard the bitter truth from the lips of his wife. He immediately flew into a rage, jumped up and shouted angrily:
   "Hey, you, woman, long hair and short wit! How dare you speak to me like that? Without me, you should be a beggar. You would have died long ago without my money. Get out and keep clear of me!"
   But this time the threats and reproaches of her husband did not scare the poor woman. She looked with disgust at his fat face, red as a beet, and then said:
   "Well, no more I will catch your eye! But don't worry, I will not be a beggar and will not die of hunger! Just the opposite, even if I am the wife of a poor man, I will not be a burden to him!"
   The woman gathered her meagre belongings in a bundle and left the yard. On the outskirts of the city the woman began to ask about the poorest and loneliest man. Someone pointed out that it should be Saeed the needy. He earned his crust by selling the grass that he collected in the pastures. All his life he lived in a small way, eating nothing but dry bread and flour soup, wearing nothing but a dirty shirt with a thousand patches.
   Having approached Saeed's dwelling, the woman saw a broken fence of the yard. The gate was open, the dirty courtyard was almost empty, without even a dog. There was an old cauldron with a broken edge, standing in the middle of the yard. A blackened iron kettle, lying nearby, was as black as soot. A little further, she saw an old ramshackle house with a roof full of holes. When she entered the house, she found there an old tattered blanket and a greasy pillow, which became as solid as a rock. A dirty bowl, made of pumpkin, was lying about the corner...
   The unhappy woman sat down on a log and with a deep sigh wiped a tear from her eye. Then she brought water from a ditch, sprinkled the floor and swept the garbage off the house and the yard. She took a coverlet off the blanket, took a pillowcase off the pillow and washed them. She gathered all the food that she could find in the house and cooked a meal. After cleaning the house, she took out her sewing bundle and began to embroider a skullcap.
   Saeed the needy finally returned home. He came in the yard, bowing under the bundles of dry grass on his back. Having put the grass in the corner, he saw that someone had swept his yard. His clean clothes were hanging on the rope. Being surprised by the whole thing, Saeed looked into the house and saw a woman, bent over her embroidery. This picture surprised him even more, and he said:
   "I think I was wrong and it's not my house."
   The woman realized that he intended to leave; she stood up and replied with bows and smiles:
   "You are not mistaken, this is your home."
   Saeed could not believe that all this he saw with his own eyes and heard with his own ears. The poor man could not even dream about a woman in his house. No one would give the daughter in marriage to the poor, and therefore he stood frozen in place at the sight of the woman. And the woman went on:
   "If you do not mind, I will be hosting in your house."
   He nearly fainted of joy; he could barely stay on his feet and replied inaudibly,
   "Of course."
   The beautiful and, as it seemed to Saeed, intelligent woman immediately began to ask him how he had been living.
   "Early every morning I go to the field to gather dry grass," - began to tell Saeed. - "After gathering two bundles of grass, I sell them at a fair or market. From the meagre money, I buy some flour and cook soup from it. After dinner I sleep until the next day."
   "If so," - said the woman, - "take the grass and sell it at the market. However, you should buy flour for half of the money and half of it bring home."
   Saeed was going to say that the flour, which he could buy for this money, was not enough for two, but he refrained and just thought:
   "This woman apparently knows what she is doing, let's see what will happen."
   He took the grass and went to the bazaar. The woman resumed embroidering the skullcap. In the evening, Saeed came back and gave the woman some flour and half of the money. She got up, cooked the soup, and the two had their first dinner. After eating, the woman said:
   "Now, let's knead clay, repair the roof of the house, and then cover the damaged area with clay and sand."
   Saeed, who was fast asleep every day at that time, reluctantly went to knead the clay and repair the roof. The woman again continued embroidering the skullcap.
   The next day the woman asked Saeed to bring four bundles of grass and sell them at the market.
   "Today," - she said, handing Saeed a new skullcap, - "you should sell this skullcap! Half of the money you must bring home, and for the rest you should buy some flour, butter, onions, radishes, and two nice cups."
   Saeed came back home, having done all that asked the new mistress of the house. As soon as he walked in, the woman immediately put down her needlework, ignited a hearth, baked pancakes in the cauldron, and then cooked vegetable soup in a pot. She poured the soup into the new cups and put them on a clean tablecloth - dastarkhan. Saeed was eating the hot soup with the soft pancake and saying:
   "Wow, what a delicious meal! Ah-ah, what a sweet pancake! What if I have that kind of food every day!"
   "People say that work brings joy," - said the woman. - "If we are going to work hard, then sooner or later we will have not only vegetable soup and unleavened bread, but also soup with meat and pancakes with butter."
   "If so," - said Saeed with joy, - "tell me what should I do next!"
   "Dear Saeed, the evening is yet to come," - the woman said, - "maybe you could collect two more bundles of grass till the evening?"
   The man immediately took a rope and a hatchet and went to collect the grass. His diligence was growing day by day, and he began to notice that his life was getting better and better.
   One day, before Saeed's departure to work, the wife handed him hard-earned money and said:
   "Dear, buy a new cauldron for cooking and a piece of fabric for a blanket."
   Thus Saeed spent all his time on improvement of the household. With the help of his wife and at her request, he built a new fence and new gates, he renovated the house and the yard, he planted a vegetable garden and a peach orchard.
   One day the wife said Saeed,
   "I want you to invite several guests."
   She pointed the names of a few well-off people, including Agha, her former husband. Saeed used to realise all requirements of his skilful wife, and therefore he went to invite the guests without questions. The wife called the women next door, and with their help she cooked a variety of delicious dishes.
   Finally the guests began to come and sit down around the dastarkhan. In the midst of the convivial intercourse one of the guests asked Saeed:
   "We all have known, Saeed, that you had been the poor man of the city. Then we learned that your life has improved, and now we have the opportunity to make sure that you are living well. Tell us, please, how could you manage to build your new life?"
   "It has happened only because of my dear wife," - frankly confessed Saeed.
   The guests were surprised but were not ready to believe him. They reckoned that women are inferior human beings because the Almighty has given the man an advantage over the woman. And all of a sudden one of the guests, Agha, stood up and said:
   "I am sure that we should trust Saeed. For many years, everything in my life seemed to be coming up roses. I had a very hard-working and beautiful wife but was not able to appreciate her. Then suddenly the whole world crashed down about my ears."
   And he began to tell the guests that after the departure of his wife from the house, his life was going worse and worse, no matter how much he tried to find good workmen: he could not see the satisfaction in life.
   Having immersed in the memories of his past life, he began to regret deeply about his cruel actions and hurtful words, spoken to his wife at that time. It was easy to understand from his slatternly appearance that life of the teller had been dragging so bad without his wife.
   Agha already got the audience tired with his complaints, but suddenly his glance chanced to fall on the open door, where was standing and smiling a charming woman...
   Meanwhile, another guest asked Saeed:
   "And where did you find such a wonderful wife?"
   "She came to me by herself!" - replied Saeed with joy.
   And only then Agha realized, that it was she, his industrious and kindly wife, the mistress of all trades, who became the wife of Saeed.
  
  
  
  
  
  

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