# Aron Stepanyan Fear

Вячеслав Владимирович Тимофеев

Fear

No Fuss, No Muss

Maria, you should"ve been fussing over one thing and one thing only, and doing your math.

Bubble to the Burning Gehenna

Hair to hair, voice to voice. Tight as hell. Word for word. Orgonomics and necronomics.

Paid Mourners

For a price, they"ll also mourn pets.

Lemonade Joe

He wears orange bifocal glasses in a pink frame.

Forget It, Dude

Don"t pack your ash in there, it"ll stick. Hammer in the bushing and keep your eyes open on the job.

Stone in the Heart

Perfect for breaking cause and effect principle and nodding along with your colleagues.

Don"t Chew Her Out

When in the abbey kitchen, there"s more crowd than actual people. And you, the social group of "ladies" -

step aside and clear the way.

Dweller of the Sunny Caucasus

He didn"t die, he just stepped out of the kiosk for a smoke.

Serpent

A violinist is needed.

Cul-de-Sac

A dead-end gutter for the rich kids on the streets of Beverly Hills.

Double Bass

It"s dead weight dangling on a string - we don"t need that in our quintet.

Shameless Faces

They threaten to slaughter the entire nations and factions with a nuclear club in hand.

Puerto Rico

They just might have the best infantry and spies in the world.

Cinema and Germans

Let the war go - that"s where you"ll find the highest number of dead actors.

Mieczysław

Keep your throws to a minimum.

Aviator

A downed pilot is a hard target to hit at treetop level.

Mutual Agreement of Both Parties

They drew the Russians in with sweet talk and then fired all of them.

Hello? Is this Pakistan?

Quick, we have to call Geydar Dzhemal"s father.

Shame

The country"s bigwigs sleep around with each other in one heap and have no wives; talk about a contrast.

Murderess

She"s tightening the noose on our connections and our moves.

Maybach

I can"t believe this imbecile got in a Maybach and dipped out of the neighborhood.

Patriarch"s Convoy

Back when my brother was driving for the patriarch, he"d chain-smoke behind the wheel. They had to

remove one of his lungs. Then he retired, and I stepped up to take his place to cruise the districts of

Moscow. Still smoking behind the wheel "Petr" brand cigarettes.

Military Target

A legitimate military target, a parade or a formation on the parade ground.

Thanks Everyone

The bad guys have been dealt with. You"re all free to go.

Dum-Dee-Dum

A razor across the eyes and drop it in the well.

King of Donbas

He smokes expensive cigarettes from a pack labelled "King size."

LDPR

May I roll my sleeves up and get to work wearing my comfy glasses?

Peaked Cap

I found a militia peaked cap in the village bathhouse attic. It was full of golden wheat grain - my

grandfather"s stash for a loaf of bread. Guess he never got to use it.

Helicopter

Someone pulled their head out of their ass.

Captive of Three Station Square

The first call goes to the speculators and the Russian nomenklatura.

Green

And that soldier boy is as green as they come.

Gold Ring

Put that gold ring away if you don"t want any troubles. I mean it.

Red Crab Ticket

I"ll let you hold on to my member.

Denisovan

There"s nothing mystical about it - it"s a tourist"s breakfast.

Churko-o"сlock

The time spent in the bathhouse as a stoker.

Newest History

First they burned all the politicians, then they beheaded the doctors. Then a war for survival broke out

among the actors. In the end, the clowns won.

Architect

My best friend is the chief architect from Bashkortostan, he halts clouds in their track.

Feedback

He said or rather blurted out and bounced off.

Evil Streets

A fight over a parking spot broke out - a fallout between craft beer sponsors. A module lottery with no

chance of winning.

Amirkhan

Amirkhan doesn"t need love to reach the optimal, solid condition.

Retrobolide

An injection in the back of the favorite and the dark horse.

Fallen Skies 2

Why didn"t the skies fall? Where"s the filth? The looting and the UFOs?

Terem and I

Terem and I took over the Snowman"s apartment.

Red Sun

Walk away from the Sun, not towards it - and don"t try to find a place in the sun.

Hanging Gardens of Babylon

Those are your adrenal glands when you"re asleep, they sway, wither, and swell up.

Tough Conversation

An agronomist called me. His voice was metallic, rough and wheezing. In short, your typical suffocating

bore; he sucked the life out of me. I put down the black receiver with its braided two-core cord, and

opened the iron door with a key.

Path of the Warlock from Hungary

He walked between the Chicago Boys, nurtured by Soviet science.

Metronome consistency

Swaying - is a protection from arrows, stray shrapnel, and back-stabbers.

Wipers

A million drops that way - a million drops this way. What"s the difference?

Stuttgart

The glorious gunsmiths, watchmakers, and repairmen - all outlawed now.

Shit-Actors

They don"t get too far - their ass still shows.

Brain Ring

I don"t understand a damn thing; I need to nag the property developers.

Femen

Don"t whistle, Shamakhan queen - that"s an explosion at a pasta factory in Georgia.

Shut Your Beak

A junction of juicy spit, dust, and air bubbles.

Axc

Eyes wide open, waiting for the barbarians and the karkalyga trappers.

Contrast

Stepping into contrast - hiding from the living world.

Scarlet Letter

A fancy letter, some words, and scars all over.

Caution: Wet Paint

Railings, fences, and benches.

Shrubbery

They can catch fire or sink.

Mouse Fever

Working as cattle hide receiver, I caught mouse fever. A mouse bit me when I went to the icehouse to

grab the skins. I had a fever, and my emotions and senses became dulled. After recovering, I started

crossing myself with two fingers.

Bull of a Man

When he passed, they placed copper coins on his glassy eyes and threw paper rubles into the coffin, lined

with red fabric. The crooks at the wake poured half a shot of wheat vodka, placed it by his photo, and

covered it with a piece of stale black bread. Then the band started playing, and the whole procession

shuffled through the village. I stepped into a phone booth and dialed 2

Gera

Megera pushed her mate Gera from the car straight into the water. Cut you out, Gera! Cut you out!

Tar Kiln

It was set up by the ravine. The old man boiled tar from pine and birch bark. He"d layer the bark up, then

lower it into the vat with fire hooks. The thick black tar came out at the other end and went straight into

barrels. As a byproduct, he got paraffin, turpentine, and rosin - produced through steam distillation. He

tarred boats on the riverbank, bathhouses, and the gates to the yard of the local loose women.

Fresh Snow

The old woman didn"t remember her name, or who she was, but she knew for certain that her house was

over there, in that village on the little hill.

Podvoisky School

Learning the trade to the howling wind, the chime of a cuckoo clock, and the distant growling of a lynx.

Death Warrant

A warrant for a bachelor, for a new apartment in the city center.

Name of the Rose

You don"t have to smell the rose with a gas mask on anymore.

Engine

Guys, check the valves and the belt. And don"t leave the engine running with no load.

Devil"s Roots

I became a matchmaker and a puppet in someone else"s devilish game

Troll

The Irish troll was getting wasted and talking trash, so the AI sewed up his torpedo. That shut him up.

Short Circuit

Buzz-buzz - out of the question.

Cultivator

Heard on the grapevine, "For a bottle, Petya will cultivate and harrow the potato field."

Towering Neck

The long-necked animal - an endangered species.

House Warming Crew 2

They watch your cable TV, open and inspect your fridge, jump in your pool, and brush their teeth with

your toothbrush.

Fire hazard

The crooks set up a police station in the village, after taking the "prosecutor"s" revolver from an oak desk.

Gloomy Regular

The bathhouse attendant, the man dancing with someone else"s wife at the club, the hooligan at the

stadium, the drunk driver.

Bruise

A pilot with his arm in a sling messed me up, leaving a bruise under my eye with my own luggage.

Snowdrop Corpse

If you don"t wanna end up as a snowdrop - don"t drink yourself stupid on the way back from the khutor in

winter.

One-Man Act

He needs enlightenment, goes through the motions, monkeys around, and hoards dog hair.

Veterinarian

One vet for several villages, he treats both livestock and humans. He delivers babies, cuts the umbilical

cord. Sometimes he pulls out rotten teeth. The grateful locals pay him in natural goods: milk, honey, and

chacha.

DJ Gurzuf

He brings anarchy to the dancefloor, hands up, pants down.

Pharaoh"s Land

The sea"s spread out far and wide. Pharaoh, can"t you see where it ends?

Legacy

What you can"t pass on - ether, bitcoin, a tree.

Coming Out of the Fire

Hellfire has reached the fireplace. If someone is doing well, then someone else must be doing poorly. We

clink glasses of champagne on a bearskin rug.

Disgrace

What are you wearing? Shameful, pure disgrace!

Necessary People

The poor - they work all the time, but they eat nothing but fish.

Fumbler

Sergeant Pumpkin nags him, "A clumsy man"s hands never hurt!"

Words

Power word, "You"re toast!"

Words

Repair word, "Fire on the birdhouse!"

Bulk Goods

Bulk goods suffer from chronic insomnia.

Wood Pigeon

He"s always dealing with a permanent shortage and sometimes by alternating current.

Septic Tank

For a whole year, I worked in Jerusalem as a shit-cleaner, a goldsmith of waste, an expert in all kinds of

shit. We drove an old Mercedes-Benz T1 minibus with the slogan, "Shit - that"s our job." We installed

septic tanks and cleared sewer blockages. Sometimes we had to dig trenches for double pay. And while

working with shit, I found my love.

Vertical Race

Everyone ran off and I stayed at the finish line.

Stooped

The old woman, bent over the potato patch, was making holes in the ground using a shovel handle, which

had turned as hard as a stake.

Irishman

If an Irishman shits, he does so in red bricks only.

Breeze

Flying over razor blades.

Unalterable Truths

All roads lead to cemetery.

Blame Yourself

Newbie, you"ve only got yourself to blame, "The serf woman whips herself when she gathers a crop

carelessly. You reap what you sow."

Surface and Depth

Girls love smart guys who work with machines, those big-brained eggheads.

Volunteer

Careful handling of cracks and chips.

Shaggy

He hadn"t washed or brushed his hair in days.

Beetles

The fire beetle, the Colorado potato beetle, the Maybeetle, and the dung beetle all have a negative

connotation.

Schmuck

He made a face, "Boys, no tips today!"

Tamed Raven

He knows that there might be a layer of ash at the bottom of the glass.

Iteration

"Zoned out" guy with a gun.

Angel

A mere zero.

Leather Man

Even though things were tense between us, he still saluted me, pressing two fingers to his balding, peeling

head.

Righteous Man"s Head

Only the voice of God always echoes in the righteous man"s head.

Soviet Union

The S.S. Soviet Union is sinking, it"s just physics and pure math.

Sima

Granny Sima was wandering around the flea market. Useless goods were laid out all around her. A slick,

businesslike guy had printer cartridges for sale. She bought them on a whim. Then on the way home, she

left them on the steamboat.

Izzycycle

Torque got on the Izzycycle, turned on the gravity, and blasted across the Mojave Desert.

Bureaucrats

Beasts of every kind and shape.

Little Mushroom

I was on the beach, standing under the mushroom umbrella. A "mushroom" rain started. I pulled a

cucumber move and stuffed it into my swim trunks. All the girls were mine...

To the Lads

Let"s raise a glass, for real, to high-maintenance relationships, to the lads!

Shoddy

Lemonade for sixty-one rubles.

Ass

No point in paying for every jackass.

Bakery

The One-leg from the bakery, I realized it was an old pirate I once knew.

1578

You can"t please everyone - that"s life.

Scruff

An unsifted and unfiltered filth from under the fingernails.

Airport

In bad weather - like a fish in water.

Loo

The flush doesn"t work. In warm weather, every body of water will let you answer the call of nature.

Predatory London vs. Soviet Cities

London swallowed Gorky, then Chkalov. Rybinsk and Karaganda were the real jackpot cities. The East

India Company had never seen that much loot sent for processing.

Flag

The city with its flag flying at half-mast means "chilling" and "not on guard."

Troubadours

That trembling voice, you"d recognize it through centuries. A holy place is never empty.

Crescendo

Beyond the hill - barking, and someone demanding the Doors.

Trans

The fire salamander and fire water - and dances with a tambourine, around a bonfire, in a cave with

drawings of ancient gods.

Mother-in-law

My brother"s mother-in-law lived in the spirit world in the Valley of Fire. I made my way to her through

an Indian reservation. The road ran through the land of fire - smoke rose from geysers, and lava found its

way through cracks. I was just about there when a snake crossed my path; with a quick swing of my club,

I struck it down. I skinned it and brought the skin to my brother"s mother-in-law, who dripped venom into

a vessel. In a spacious wigwam, I lay down to sleep.

Sausage Business

A sausage-maker walked into the hangar. "Well, hello there, stranger," said the Indian nicknamed

"Business Sausage", and threw a spear at him.

Coral Necklace

I traded a barrel of gunpowder to Hawk for a coral necklace. Any questions? Take them to him.

Big Top

Ladies and gents - you"re just getting silenced.

Bollocks

When you ain"t clocking the game - and all the black squares are taken.

IT Guy

Russia - the age of tall tales.

Stabilizer

Gennady"s wife returned, and so did their relationship. His eyesight got better - he forgot all about his

glasses. He"d get on his bike and ride off to their dacha house.

Fuck If I Care

A young guy, sober and loaded with cash; and more women than you can count.

Bridle Lock

"Denis and I - we go as a pair," I said, biting the bridle.

Curtain

Behind the curtain - a scoundrel, a dance ball, and some pennies.

Mute as a Fish

You need a Dorado or a Fugu memory module - it"s a crazy risk.

Atomic Heart

Dental floss and a thimble with a hole - and the dark deed is done.

Love Is

When he gave you the key to his heart and took out the trash.

Tormented

I skip the fatties, the brawlers, and the twins.

Dire Poverty

The capital"s a ghost town. They need more working hands.

Intestine Rambler

He listened to heavy rock on St. George"s Day and vomited all over.

Clued-In

Armenian sanctions on the US: iron jaws on the dead and a post in the road.

Last of His Kind

The Russian leader"s riding in on a silver steed.

Riders from Beyond

In ragged clothes, slowly, without looking back, they came down from the hill and drove away the herd of

heifers.

Dr. Graveyard

He practices urine therapy and healing people through photos.

102 kg of Loneliness

A pair of washed-out ripped jeans, hanging by two wooden clothespins, drying in the sun.

Turret

A twin cannon, with a rotating mechanism, firing shells under gas pressure.

Midgets

Hey jerk, we"re just small kids, not midgets.

Warlock

He missed the bull"s-eye, got grabbed by the balls after messing with emulsion - all before a rooster

crowed.

Plot

Someone rang my doorbell. I opened the door - and there stood a tall, middle-aged man in a black hat. He

addressed me immediately, "You stole my plot!"

I said, "I don"t remember you - talk to my literary agent," and shut the door. In the morning, he left a

manuscript under a large stone by the door.

Chatterers

They"re locked in the Ostankino tower, and even more so, locked in the heavens.

Oh, Russia

Caviar, vodka, and a balalaika.

Fire

Five fire waves on the log, I extinguished it in proper Pioneer-style.

Coffee Stop

Red stains on the toilet paper.

MosGas

To go through the pipe to the autonomous steam discharge.

Connecting North America

I told him to say "Ah" - the caller came back with, "The crow-ma"."

God-Fighter

By fighting hard and training relentlessly, you become a God.

Basin

It"s easier to set you on fire, to scatter you, than to heal and feed you.

Jester

When you say "Devil," he does a "Pa" and jingles his little bells.

Growth

The doc told me to undress. After feeling me over, he said, "You"ve got a horrible growth!"

W.W.Hovansky

Whatever you do on camera, just don"t laugh for the video.

Baboon

I"m not your monkey man, got it!?

Divine Enterprise

Own up to your shit!

So What if the Russians Bail from Ukraine?

Many will be knocked off their feet, and some won"t even shake your hand, and so on...

Combatants

They fight without underwear and without any brains.

Chatbot

Wouldn"t it be better for the mind to turn upon itself?

Grabber

The earth"s depths belong to the people.

Leather Patch

I was requested to trim the sneakers and stitch them with a leather patch cloth to make them half a size

smaller. In addition, to shorten the leather gloves.

Backwater Town

A cutting-edge, fastest-developing city - I"m telling you, as its former mayor.

Flash

We"ll growl, and you - bite her.

Orks

They move in leaps. And keep their catch on a short leash. They cling tight like caterpillars. And swarm

over people and elves in a mob.

Alcove

This is the music and the truth.

Little Things

Couldn"t ditch the change in Bruges - but I dropped it off in Yaroslavl.

One Stone at a Time

I laid my worn-out man to rest. Grabbed the coat and headed home.

Cinderella

Once she wore those red shoes, none of her other pairs ever fit right again. After that, she started keeping

a diary.

Dropouts

They jump onto moving trains at stations and ride in circles. Characters from a game: Boris the engineer,

who inspects the carriages. Tanselya the conductor. Mishka Bosos"s gang. A police post on railway

transport - 4 people (armed). The Left Man - the game"s antagonist. Objective: deliver nylon stockings to

the city.

What Will the Gas Giants Say?

From below, looking up, they gave us a hint: dress for the weather and pop your lower jaw back in place.

Dupes

They watched the dope fading off them.

Forgotten Watch

The Raven summons Philip and Stallion.

On the Outskirts

I called on the videophone. "I need Dr. Naymark!" I said. A gleaming white ass appeared on the screen,

asking, "What is your business?"

I said, I was an old buddy from the Gyros crew. "The doctor is not seeing anyone," the videophone

answered and hung up.

Connections and Roles

The loss of connections and role interaction within an organized criminal group. Types include: the

foreman, the torpedo, the linkman, and so on.

Sergeant Major Vyushin

He kept an eye on everything that withered and dragged out a pitiful existence. Allowing no "snatch-and-

scratch" in his line of duty.

Job

Only through lamentation and outcry did Job pull himself out.

Microtronics

Bull in a shop of wonders.

Chocolate

We had quite enough of it, so we decided to "lay low" in a quiet province.

Deputy Commander for the Rear

He won"t hook you up - and he won"t lend you money. Total scumbag of a rear guy.

Positioned

Behind the forest, not a cloud in sight.

"Why Skvo?", My Question

She put on a witch"s hat and said, "They fear for their own skin and they"re scared to lose their jobs."

Clara

The USSR steamer hit the iceberg "Great Armenia" and is going down bow-first. The rats have already

jumped ship.

Celandine

The doctors are behind a concrete wall.

Hard Times

You have to get into fights and visit the few bars in town.

Oak Sorcerers

You"re sitting wrong - switch places.

Pale

I lit my pipe and through the heavy clouds of smoke spotted the pale guy.

Warm Blanket

A patch of dense leaves, acorns, and raven feathers by the ancient oak. Near the hot springs.

Waiting for the Exhale

There"s no shame in changing habits, your philosophy and in giving your heart a workout.

Doctor

It"s shameful to see a doctor.

Stabs in the Back

They make your ass ache.

Tar Pools

Where the shepherd wouldn"t take the calves and heifers in the summer heat. Makarych"s face twitches,

remembering such a thing, as if someone had pissed in his holy water.

Clicking the Link

It"s non-stop calls from obligors - to the point of spontaneous combustion

Herbalist

Let"s poison your friend Valya by pouring "mole" into her glass.

Last Week"s News

How many more rounds of this nonsense?

Triumph

The fires in Australia are a disaster. I had to use my Triumph bike to carry more than one dingo out of the

bush.

Roo Bars

A roo bar against a tank. Wait, is this allowed?

Don"t Stand Under Loads

A bus stop and a bike lane, both were right in the crane"s swing radius.

Excavator Operator

"Either I dig, or I don"t dig," he snapped back at the foreman in a hard hat.

Fleeting Light

A moving pulse in a three-dimensional xyz coordinate system.

Solidarity

To keep things balanced, we need: cow, goat, and camel milk.

God

That"s a all-mighty crane.

Pirate Bartender

He lives by the code - if you want to talk, we must trade with him.

Pentagram

An endless vibrating telescopic baton.

Shabbat

Calls to the taxi driver on Shabbat - I don"t pick up. I work by the meter and by the whistle in the city.

Marked by Evil

A watcher with a huge hole in his heart.

Joint

We came to ruin you and sent you out on the streets.

Jean Sokirko

A Roger Wilco type, how is this guy still alive? Dressed in a leather jacket, he read other people"s mail on

the stairwells.

Character Assassination 2

It starts with words referred to a person and continues with a sneer at the rules and foundations.

Nowhere to Hide

The abyss and the sea get in the way of a bad teacher.

Otherworldly

Elijah rides on a fiery chariot on the other side. I dip ersatz bread into a bowl of butter and drift on

autopilot toward home.

Romance

Angels amuse themselves, shining at each other through the night.

Deep Throat

By the method of shrinkage and settling - squeeze out everything possible and impossible out of him.

Instigators

They lose it all and scream in a booming voice like their throats are made of steel.

Behind Glass

In one window looked three. One saw the two through the glass, they were having breakfast across the

street. The other two only saw their own room.

Full Calculation

Wooden abacus and two clean accounting ledgers. One for income, the other for expenses.

Suit Tailoring

A French curve, a ruler, some pins, a cutting table, scissors, chalk, a measuring tape, and most

importantly, the fabric.

Fleece

This is not a collapse, it is a flight, resembling a tactical retreat.

Swept Under the Rug

All the names and surnames of the revolutionaries.

International Trade Union

A place of power, a point of assembly, where the eternal flame burns.

Illusion

I swear I have more than 500 children. One of them was kidnapped, I had to pay them off. I found a way -

to wipe and take off the glasses.

Geologist Shvyryayev

He tosses stones, gathers tinder and timothy grass. He pokes straws up gadflies" butts and inflates frogs.

Pale Horse

Quick and dead.

Despot

Mr. President, you"re a despot. And us journalists? We"re the undertaker crew.

Replicant

Says nothing new, steals the audience"s collective time.

Hero

He has a Marquis with a hole in it.

Mrot

The greed of the English nobility knows no bounds. It is caused by heart valve failure. The doctors

recommend hosting a dinner party and doing simple work every day.

House of Celebrations 2

The Queen allows hiring anons, bio-livestock, and serfs. They fished, set traps, and marked the territory.

Marlene Dietrich

Carmen, an Armageddon for men, with a face that never loses its freshness.

Snatcher

Either you snatch them - or you"ll get beaten.

Toward the Karkalyga

Wind under the nose. Camel thorn in the desert. Barbed wire before the eyes - with positive vibrations.

Witches

Funny how the old women hop and dance around.

Twins

Missing one egg and one face.

Suwałki Gap

They sell cotton candy in there. There"s an arcade machine, some random junk. Grease drips from the

ceiling. It"s better to move around in boots.

Monument

I erected a monument to myself almost for free, made of marble chips.

Nuclear Tidbit

I was accused of taking on another person"s identity in order to start World War III and a lunar

apocalypse.

Phantom

My phantom had a good swim underwater and after smoking some weed, it quickly gained altitude.

Brother"s Heart

A fiery heart that deceives everyone else, but not you.

Gas Wrench

Death gushes out - don"t stand aside, or behind.

Swindle

Pouty lips and a happy ending.

Mikhryutka

He practices divorce and has taken his wife"s maiden name, Selden.

Bone Game

I had three spare bones - a tongue with no bones, a bone in my throat, and a tailbone. We rolled them for

distance, on schedule.

Kingdome come

Stop the record - I"m getting off. I hit the ground like a bird and turned into a handsome prince.

Dry Twig

One of my branches dried up and bore no fruit. I cut it off with pruning shears so the tree would stay

healthy.

Headlines

Only "medical" facts.

Taxi Driver"s Earring

Enchanted for +25 resistance to sorcery.

Peacock TV

Fleshy faces and crooked grimaces on TV, magnified through a lens.

Christ and Rick

Whom God has joined together, a man will find a way to trick.

Midshipman

Nose to the wind - keeps his chin up.

Sourpuss

When in doubt - chew.

Erotic Outfit

Thongs and laces all stuck in the crack.

Aramis

Please, write me a recommendation letter.

Kakha Cartosio

We"ve all had enough of his fussing and yapping. Better to hang with Pashka, a strapping bloke, built like

a brick shithouse.

Empire of Evil

Bathed by sea waves, and birthplace of elephants.

Sugar Cube

My team and I worked the coach over every way we could. We tapped his phone, dragged his desk into

the street, whistled off-key, ate bananas outside. Dripped him through a sugar cube like they do with

absinthe.

Nikolai Palkin

The drill, "Stick, stick, and a little green man."

Hick Town

Any town to a country bumpkin, as long as they got a garrison.

Chicanery 2

Turkish chicanery is bottomless. We had been drinking pretty hard, me and the guys. They"ve put me on a

flight to Gaziantep, when I was meant to be heading to Kazantip. Shit happens...

Void

Heads up, everyone, void, refund, and cancel.

Police Labor Strike

Unlimited hops and sugar.

Stream

An endless stream of piss and treacle.

Impotent Rage

Staring, spitting, calling on the phone - and dancing.

Super Strip

A strip of fog behind glass, out over the coastal waters.

Washbear Raccoon

The raccoon at the river at night, washing laundry on a washboard.

Visit to the Tailor

I"m flying full sail toward a custom order, to the work I love.

Skepticism

The courtiers spent their days tormenting the dark crystal. Breeding skepticism at every turn.

Head of Civil Defense and Emergency Situations

He never lets his guard down, always running civil defense drills. After they fired him, it was all dancing

with the stars and softcore porn on the premises.

Lily-handed

Reads the freshest, crisply ironed yellow papers.

Petrovich

Any middle-aged, handy guy with a beard.

Surviving in a Leather Jacket

Always fight back. Share your light. Lend a hand, give a car a shove, bring a man to his feet. Travel on

foot or by horse-drawn cart. Never work for the man.

Top Seed

My buddy is Russia"s top "black" seed in tennis.

Barrymore the Butler

He held the keys to the brandy, locked away from the guests and Sir Henry.

Swindle 2

A beard transplanted from a scrotum.

Pony

A ride for the second-class citizens.

Gloves

Leather gloves boost running speed.

Journalist"s Creed

Only the verified facts, no ulterior motives, and pay no mind to the people.

Circus

Under the big top of the Israeli circus, there"s not enough room for everyone.

Betrothed

"Miss, where is your betrothed?" inquired the border guard.

"He"s gone now, but we are already one flesh," she replied.

Lanky

Lanky, down in Yasenevo, skating on ice beneath the onion dome.

Fatty

He pisses in a bucket. Talks to the TV and eats all the damn time.

Monkey Mask

To use, to control, and to live inside out.

Nose

It was warm - honey and beer dripped from the nose, but none of it made it to the mouth.

Blackshirt

Obscene language and Latin all for 300 grand.

Whelp

I carry everything I own with me, so I don"t trip while walking.

Black Colonel

He raised an eyebrow, chewed the corner of his mustache. "Time to bust this joint," he said, pulled on his

mac and fastened a belt.

Benzac Fuel

There are about roughly 2 million women in Russia who can fill your tank.

Wasteland

People of the wasteland, you"re used to living without water. Thus I"m sending you some water:

billboards, abbreviations, mangled street plates in broken English. Let the battle for gasoline begin.

No Binzin Fuel

Binzina Ivanishvili - a seer, a visionary, or just a lucky businessman.

Crocodile

The Beer Lovers Party took over and swallowed the Communists. The Communist leader stuck his

tongue out.

Ragamuffin

Neither into the bosom of the church, nor into the Red Army.

Guiding Lines

The ribbons of a sailor"s cap were my guiding lines.

Apple Trees

Soon all the apple trees on Earth will be gone.

Restorer

Alright, lads, break"s over. Time to get back to work.

Sasha Sever

Five little women inside.

Pennies

Cash comes and goes like sparrows, the card dealer takes his cut in reds.

Mr Negative

The old man broke someone else"s pram and I took all the heat for it.

Europe

Time to put a full stop on this relationship.

Starfall

A flicker of hope.

Professor"s Head Falls Off

Festivals and contests - and dances with no feeling in it.

Yellowstripe Scad

A white stripe, a black stripe, and a whole lot of energy.

Notary Public

There"s always a crowd at the Notary"s. A visa signed by his hand can seal your fate.

Where the Fern Blooms

The fern blooms beyond the beaver dam, where the strawberry tendrils run wild.

Glass Cleaner

I drunk a ton of glass-cleaner, and stood there swaying, watching the parade.

Obsessed

Little things mean the world to him, while his own well-being is just background noise.

Portvegas

The greatest warrior of the dawn.

Fistula

To close the fistula - all it takes is one match head.

Fakir Show

Grabbing a bottle of oil, he rasped, "Time to pay the fiddler!" He poured it down his throat and spat a jet

of fire at the musician.

AI (Artificial Intelligence)

A cover-up and a plaything for the rich.

Phone Booth

Fifteen minutes is more than you"ll ever need.

Madonna

A sacrifice is required for the drinking water.

Shit-talking

Influence people by cussing them out.

Feng Shui Style

One foot here, one foot there, and two heads are better than one.

MiG-29

Two little siskins with PhDs, together.

Disappointment

It used to be more prominent - and with a head start on the rest of my peers.

Delivery Person

Kindergarten, school, university - and I ended up a delivery person.

Elders of Zion

They turned their backs on the uncreated light. To them, the excess people are dung. Time will tell who

ended up where.

To Each Their Own

But all together, in one go.

Happening

Hugs, radiating happiness, and sweet words.

Artificial Intelligence

Comes with a frame, screws, and batteries.

Services

It kills with a reflection, identical, like two drops of water.

Not State-Owned Legs

An imp, and a victim of marketing. The state might come calling for those legs. These aren"t state-owned.

Six Days of Peace

On the seventh day, the war of infinity.

Moska

It doesn"t shine or sparkle, but not a feather out of place.

Turkish Yuppies

They don"t eat meat that"s all gristle. Only fillet.

Birdman

He utters, "I am a crow."

Burn

Not a devil's mark.

Translator: Eugenia Dzugkoeva

Editor: Aleksandra Stepovaya Yaroslavl Translation Service, LLC