Аннотация: A mnemograph. A terrible dream. Teaching Turians to swim.
Chapter 4.1 On the issue of Turian buoyancy... And I almost got burned.
Eugene (Mendoir, December 2358)
Surprises for Christmas
December 24, 6:00 a.m.
I'm doing gymnastics in front of the window, and snow is falling outside from large, soft and fluffy snowflakes. In my previous life, I didn't like winter, but now I adore it. Maybe it's because it's mild on Mendoir, the temperature hardly drops below minus five degrees Celsius, there's a lot of snow, and since there's no wheeled transport, there's no problem with travel. My father, of course, cleans the snow at the garage and in the yard, but that's all. Our village is illuminated by lanterns, they walk along the fences in three-meter increments, so it's always light here, since the lighting is automatic: dark turned on, dawn turned off. Beauty!
Today is Christmas, what a holiday! People have been in space for centuries, they have mastered other worlds, we are neighbors with alien races, and they still celebrate Christmas! And that's it, that's such a twist of consciousness, and after all, other races don't mind, they celebrate with people. Well, at least here on Mendoir. They say they celebrate at the Citadel too, well, they celebrate everything there! All the holidays of all races of space, just a holiday without pauses! I'll probably see you sometime.... At the intersection, my parents, with our common children's help, built an ice town, a spiral slide around a tree, and ice statues (Tael's work). He has a talent for this, however, Santa Claus looks like a Quarian, only bearded! He has an amazing figure, and Tael himself doesn't grow a beard. They put up an artificial Christmas tree, hung toys, and half of them were homemade. Garlands are also homemade, half of the village are engineers. As my father said, "I'll spend money on it if I do it better myself!" Of course he did. It's clearly visible from our house: it's standing at the intersection, glowing. The Turian brothers will be here in an hour, and we'll go to the school pool to learn how to swim. I promised, now I have to do it! Things are going badly, the brothers can't cope with fear in any way, it's hard for them to overcome their instincts. Nain seemed to be shallow, and she trusted me very much, so things went quickly with her, but it was hard with the brothers. Uncle Duck looks at this case, travels with us, keeps a journal. In general, normal scientific work, as he says, whether I can overcome the Turian nature or not. If I can, he'll send the job to Palaven, let the others have a headache. Nain also travels with us, trains and works as a living example. Since it's the holidays, we'll return home after the pool, we need to read the assignment for the holidays, and practice with the girls in the "base".
Since mid-November, we have been taught languages. I thought it would be like in a previous life: the teacher talks, and we repeat... but no! They brought him to a room with comfortable upholstered chairs, sat him down, put soft hats with a thick harness connected to them on his head, and opaque glasses on his eyes. We're all sitting, waiting. Suddenly, there's a carousel of colored spots, symbols, and other incomprehensible nonsense in my glasses, and my head itches strangely. We sat there for about ten minutes, admired the pictures, and it was all over. We returned to the group, the teachers started talking to us... and suddenly I realized that they were not speaking Russian, but everything was clear. I asked Rien, how does this happen? And she replied that we had a mind mentoring session. An armchair with a cap and glasses is a mnemograph, a device for recording information directly into the brain. And we'll be friends with him until graduation, and many of us after that. We've already had two sessions, and we've received a school course in Russian and basic Galactic, so we're writing and reading freely now. Although I knew Russian well enough, I now realize that my knowledge has improved. There are more languages to choose from, I'm leaning towards an English course to consolidate, and additionally choose between Turian and Asari. In our day, such a device would be a fairy tale, not a study. I just need to fix what I've received so that it doesn't get forgotten, but I don't have that problem.
More dreams have come! Very realistic, strange, sometimes amazing, sometimes scary, in which I see places where I've definitely never been. In these dreams, I am often haunted by a strong sense of loss, fear, and anger. Most often, I have a dream in which I walk through our city park. I'm wearing a hunting jumpsuit like my father's, with thick inserts on the knees, elbows, and lots of pockets. I have my father's carbine in my hands. His hands were scratched, his knuckles were bruised, one nail was broken, and his combat jacket was stained with brown spots, dirt, and grass. I wander through the trees and look for my own, but there is no one. I call, I scream, but all I hear is rustling. There's fog in the park, and trees are appearing like ghosts! Suddenly, I find myself in our village, strangely quiet and deserted. I'm walking past the Tanirs' house, and the Dakar flyer is parked, covered in leaves, and Ham's bike is covered in dirt and dust, despite the fact that Ham is a terrible cleaner in life, and his bike always sparkles. I see Naina's hefty, once snow-white teddy bear, given to her by my father, now gray with dirt, lying in the dust by the path, staring with its blue glass eyes at the misty sky. It's amazing, she never takes him out of her room! Ray's house is opposite, it's locked, the shutters are closed, and the red hologram of the castle is on. The flowers in the flower beds around the house are wilted and blackened, the rose bushes are like dark skeletons: there are no flowers or leaves on them. The swing is broken, hanging on one chain, the second is coiled like a silver snake in the brown grass, and the seat is slowly rotating around its axis from the wind, making a soft, barely audible creak. Rigard's house stands with the airlock open, and fallen leaves are blowing across the hallway floor. I slowly walk around it, I see that the bay window is broken, and small glass crumbs have covered everything around. Tael's favorite armchair is lying on its side, with the upholstery torn. The Natoles are dark and quiet, the windows are black and look like dips into the darkness, the holograms of the castles are not lit, the wind is blowing sheets of paper across the front garden. There are drawings on them, I try to collect them, but each time the sheets are taken away before I can grab them. Here is our house, but there is no one in the courtyard, it is empty inside, and it seems that everyone has just left. The holovision is working, a cup of tea is floating on the coffee table, the guys in the room have a guitar on the bed and the turned-on datapads are lying around. My father has a kulman on in his office, and the sensor pads are on the edge of the table. There is a cold, growing, aching, acute feeling of loss in my chest!
The first time I had a dream, I woke up screaming and couldn't sleep anymore. After that, I looked at my family all morning and couldn't get enough of it, the thought was beating in my head: "Really? Am I really going to lose them?! For what?! No! Please, not that!!!"
I'm standing in the shower under the hot, taut jets of water, remembering the conversation between my mother and Ray that I overheard that day. It was Sunday, and the whole family was at home, and my father, as always, was sitting in his office kulman. The older brothers had gone somewhere, Ivan was sitting in his room and enthusiastically assembling something from Lego cubes. I'm tired of reading, and my throat is dry. After going downstairs, I decided to go into the kitchen for compote and found the beginning of a conversation at the locked door.
"Dayan, what are you worried about! You have the most ordinary daughter. An absolutely healthy child, smart, active. Most importantly, obedient! What are you unhappy about? I don't understand?!"
"Ray! She scares me! Sometimes it seems to me that she is not a child! Someone else, an adult, is looking at me from her eyes! You know, a four-year-old girl can't have that look!"
Oh! I got burned, it seems, in full! We have to get out somehow! But how? Okay, let's hear it further....
"Don't talk nonsense! What are you imagining? You didn't like the look! You do remember that she has an absolute memory, don't you?"
"Yes, I remember. What does that have to do with it?"
"And besides! She doesn't forget anything. He just remembers everything! Every day, every hour, every minute of your life! Just imagine yourself in her shoes. Remember everything!"
"Oh my God, Ray! This is terrible!"
"Plus, you know she's an empath! She feels us all, all our feelings, every emotion, yes with her memory!"
"Ray! It's just a nightmare! How did she not lose her mind?"
"She's been like this since she was born! He doesn't know any other life. It's normal for her."
If only that were so! That's the thing, I know! And that makes it even more bitter. My family found out about me being an empath about six months ago. Then my parents quarreled, I don't know for what reason. Only I, who was sitting in my room, suddenly felt such a wave of emotions: anger, resentment, even hatred! It hurt me! I rushed downstairs, my parents were standing in the living room and silently looked at each other, pouring this emotional cocktail all around! Standing between them, I began to ask them in a low voice to stop, I said that I could feel everything, and it was hurting me. As a result, she sat down on the carpet and just burst into tears. They rushed to me, hugged me, and questioned me. Sobbing, I buried my face in my father's chest and told him all about memory and empathy! Confusion and anxiety mixed in the feelings of the parents, the father whispered softly:
"I need to tell Ray, see if she can help."
But Ray couldn't help, she was stunned by the news.
"No, Ray, that's not okay! This is really, really not okay, Ray! My poor daughter! She sat at breakfast today and looked at us as if she couldn't see enough, as if we were all going to disappear, and there was such longing in her eyes...."
"Maybe something happened to her, Diane? Have you even asked her? Maybe I had a dream about some kind of trash!"
That's the moment. I'll tell you about the dream now, at least some of the questions will be removed. She pressed the sensor, the door slid open, went into the kitchen, greeted Ray. I took a decanter of compote from the table, poured it into a glass, stood, drank, and looked at the women.
"My daughter? Tell me, why did you look at us so strangely this morning?"
"I had a terrible dream, Mom!"
"Tell us about him," Ray said.
She told them about her dream, ended it almost in a whisper, and said she was sure it would be like this. I look at my mother with her hands over her mouth, tears in her eyes, fear for me and pity in her emotions. Ray sits there, frowning, looking at me with sadness.
"You're a Seer, Zhenya..." Ray says softly.
"The Seer?" Mom snapped.
"Our people occasionally have those who can see the future. Their visions are vague and often contradictory, but they learn to benefit from their dreams as they age. They warn others about the dangers that threaten them, and they also have extremely developed intuition, that's what they are called Seers."
Mom came up to me, hugged me, and said in a low, broken voice:
"It's not enough for you, my little one, your memory with empathy, but also this trash! Who in heaven doesn't love you so much that they put all this on you? I hug her back, snuggle closer and say to myself: "I know who, but I won't tell you, Mommy, I'll never tell you, this burden is not for your shoulders. I will carry this load myself." Well, I got gifts from the "voice"... either gifts or curses!
I hear the terminal chirping, and I come out of my memories. 6:45 a.m., the Tanirs will arrive in 15 minutes, and go to the pool to teach Ham and Tam to swim.
Finally, things have moved forward! I swam there, cautiously so far, not swimming into the depths, but already quite confidently. Ham, looking at such a case, seemed to redouble his efforts, gritting his teeth, and periodically I heard him whisper lying on his back:
"I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid..."
Uncle Duck was scribbling on his datapad, taking pictures with his camera, talking into it, puffing around with concern mixed with surprise and delight. I swam up to Ham, put my hand under his head and began to calm the guy down in a quiet, even voice.
"Ham, calm down, relax. You're stressed, so you can't just lie on the water. Listen to my voice, I'll try to help you..." oh, for the umpteenth time!
"Do you remember when we went fishing in the summer?"
"Is that when you set Vaska on the brothers? Of course, you can't forget that!" Ham burst out laughing.
"Yes. Do you remember how we used to lie on the shore in the grass and look at the clouds and figure out what they looked like?"
"Yeah, I remember! You also named the animals of the earth, and everyone wondered how you knew so many of them."
"Here. And now - close your eyes! Closed it?"
"Yes, I did."
"Remember that day. Imagine that you are lying on the grass and looking at the deep blue sky, clouds are floating across it...."
The guy relaxed, his emotions became calm, his arms and legs floated and swayed on the surface.
"I imagined, here's one that looks like... what's his name... and I remembered, an elephant!"
"Well done! How do you feel now?"
I asked, but I knew perfectly well that there was serenity and peace in Ham's feelings. I held his head with my fingertips, and he quietly swam after me in the shallow water of the pool.
"Eugene," Ham whispered, "Little fox!" It's like I'm flying, it's so cool!"
"You're not flying, Ham, you're floating."
"Am I swimming?!"
"You're sailing, Ham, you're sailing."
Then I was overwhelmed by such a strong feeling of delight, and it was as if a string inside me was stretched and snapped with a thin tinkle. I felt an answering feeling of wild, uncontrollable joy rising from inside me. I laughed out loud, Nain was laughing and shouting next to me, whistling and hooting.
"Little fox, let's go deep," Ham said softly.
"Won't you be scared?"
"I'm not afraid anymore, I'm not afraid at all, Zhenya!"
Ham turned over in the water and not quite skillfully, snorting and splashing water, swam to the deep part of the pool. I rushed to catch up with him, because if he gets scared again, it will be difficult for me to get him out. Damn, he's crazy! I caught up with him just above the very depth, he lowered his face into the water and lay on the water like that. Diving under it, I saw a look of blue eyes full of delight, looking down into the depths of the water. Ham looked at me, smiling. I swam close, basking in the feeling of delight and gratitude of the young Turian. She surfaced next to him, and Ham looked up, snorted, and smiled.
"It's so beautiful, Little Fox, it's... it's so great to swim! Almost like flying!"
"Let's swim to the exit, Ham. You've had enough for today."
"Whatever you say, Zhen."
After getting out of the pool, I came across Dakar's thoughtful gaze, the doctor's emotions were calm and, it seems, doomed. She walked up to him and, looking into his bright blue eyes, asked:
"Uncle Duck, I did it! Do you see?"
"Yes, Zhenya, I see it! And I also see that your experience cannot be shared."
"Why?"
"Because I know of no other empaths, neither among humans, nor Asari, nor, especially, among Turians. I haven't even heard of their existence, and you alone can't teach an entire race."
"But the guys overcame their fear on their own! I only helped them!"
"No, Zhenya, not by yourself! It was you who defeated their fear, you and no one else. The device showed it clearly."
"And what should I do next? I thought this experience could be useful to all Turians... But it turns out that he is useless. I can't teach you all!"
"No, you can't. And don't. It's enough that you taught my boys and Nain. And all the others... Well, our race has never been able to swim, and I think it will continue to live without this skill. I will not send the report. He'll only draw unnecessary attention to you. Let's go home, Zhenya."
When they returned, the whole group went to the Tanir's house. Nain rushed to Kaadi from the doorway, barely taking off her shoes.
"Mom, Mommy! She did it, she did it! They swam both Hame and There, it's so cool! Really, Mommy?!"
"Really, honey," Kaadi came out into the hallway and looked at us curiously. "Children, can I congratulate you on your success?"
At the same time, the Tamil assumed a proud pose, like a Roman senator, folded his arms on his chest and, looking into space, declared:
"Yes, Mother, I have learned to swim!"
Ham just went up to his mother and, looking at her with completely happy eyes, said in a low voice:
"Mommy, this is just great! It's like flying, I just don't know how to tell you how I feel! You spread your arms and fly, and there's a blue distance below, and it's so easy...."
Kaadi hugged her eldest son, pressed her cheek to his head and said,
"Good boy, son."
"It's not me, Mom, it's all her, our Zhenya!"
We are sitting at the kitchen table, drinking erg (a kind of Turian fruit tea) with buns. Kaadi looks lovingly at us all, devouring rolls with both cheeks, and at the gloomy, thoughtful Dakar, frozen like a statue with a bun in one hand and a cup of erg in the other, staring into space with unseeing blue eyes.
"Have you made a report, Dakar?"
Dakar shuddered, focused his gaze on his wife and answered in a low voice.
"Yes, Kaadi, but it's pointless to send it."
"Why?"
"Because we don't have another Eugenia Shepard. Neither with us, nor with anyone else. And without her, the whole idea is a waste of time. I decided not to draw the attention of our hierarchs, or even the Asari matriarchs, to her. If the information comes out (and it will!)... this is not at all what Zhenya needs now, or in the future either."
"Won't she leave here?"
"I don't think so, but just in case, I'll talk to Reyan and Mikhail. Well, it's worth connecting Tael, he's a great master at hiding various information out of the blue."
"You know best, Duck. Do as you see fit."
Kaadi looked at me with an unusual warm feeling:
"Thank you, baby, you're a smart girl."
I was so embarrassed, I think I even blushed....
"Come on, nonsense! You're friends, and we do everything we can for friends. That's what my daddy says."
"A good life credo! Stick with him!" Duck says and runs his hand through my hair.
The doorbell rings from the hallway, and Ham and Tam get up from the table and run into the hallway. There is a hissing of doors and Deniska's loud voice.
"Well? Is there a movement?"
"Otherwise! We've learned, both of us!" A Tamil voice is heard.
"Honestly?" It's already Leshkin's voice. "Well, the beauties! Ah-ah-ah! Well done! Take five, bro!"
clapping of hands and loud friendly laughter of four guys can be heard. Thin arms wrap around her neck, and Nain's hard, hot cheek is pressed against her cheek:
"Let's go to my room and have a chat at the Basik. I need to practice, that's what Rien says. Are you coming?"