Several bricks, named Gravel, Rock, Stone and Boulder, sit at the desks.
MR. BRICK, the schoolteacher, paces in front of a large scheme, depicting a trajectory of a brick, falling onto a human head off the roof. The scheme is marked with multiple physics equations.
mr. brick
The relationship between a brick and a head is quite simple. A break is bound to fall onto a head. A head is bound to crack. This is determined by the basic rules of nature.
Boulder sighs and shifts towards the window, overlooking a NYC skyline.
mr. brick
Are you listening to me, Boulder?
boulder
Yes, teacher.
Mr. brick
What is your main destination, your calling, your fate?
boulder
(unenthusiastically)
To crack somebody's head.
mr. brick
Quite so. And to do that properly, you all have to memorize a few simple rules. What are they? Hmm...Gravel?
Gravel
(jumping enthusiastically up and down)
We have to make sure that the head is there!
mr. brick
Excellent, Gravel. And...what about you, Rock?
rock
We have to make sure that the head doesn't wear a protective gear!
mr. brick
Brilliant mind. Fascinating. And this
mr. brick (contd.)
gear is...Stone?
stone
Safety helmets, horns, bird's nests and extremely thick layers of dandruff!
mr. brick
Top marks. Now you, Boulder. Boulder. What are you thinking about?
Boulder
(dreamily)
The main difference between the Doric and Ionic styles of masonry is...
mr. brick
(outraged)
Boulder! Shame! Scandal! You are a total disgrace of my refined educational system!
boulder
But teacher... Aren't we supposed to be building blocks of greatest architectural wonders, created by the human mind?
mr. break
Human mind! Ha... Scrambled eggs, that's what your human mind is. I see that it's time for a little demonstration. Come with me.
He ushers his students through the classroom's door, which leads to...
ext. roof - day
The building is under construction. CONSTRUCTION WORKERS bustle underneath.
Mr. Brick prowls along the roof edge, looking for a proper victim.
He sees a BIG DUMMY, who doesn't wear safety helmet. Cackles happily.
mr. brick
Let me show you a work of professional.
He leans over the roof edge, shouts to the Dummy.
mr. brick
Hey, chum, over here!
The Dummy raises his head and stares upwards.
Mr. Brick jumps of the roof, falls, falls with proficient precision, hits The Dummy square into the face...and breaks into a stone dust with the force of the impact.
The Dummy looks stupidly at the stone dust.
A SUBTLE GUY runs past him, glances at the dust, sighs
subtle guy
What a waste, Hogan. It could have made such a nice Doric column...