Тимофеев Вячеслав Владимирович
Aron Stepanyan Fear

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Кожевенное мастерство: сумки, ремни своими руками Юристы. Круглосуточно
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  Fear
  No Fuss, No Muss
  Maria, you should"ve been fussing over one thing and one thing only, and doing your math.
  Bubble to the Burning Gehenna
  Hair to hair, voice to voice. Tight as hell. Word for word. Orgonomics and necronomics.
  Paid Mourners
  For a price, they"ll also mourn pets.
  Lemonade Joe
  He wears orange bifocal glasses in a pink frame.
  Forget It, Dude
  Don"t pack your ash in there, it"ll stick. Hammer in the bushing and keep your eyes open on the job.
  Stone in the Heart
  Perfect for breaking cause and effect principle and nodding along with your colleagues.
  Don"t Chew Her Out
  When in the abbey kitchen, there"s more crowd than actual people. And you, the social group of "ladies" -
  step aside and clear the way.
  Dweller of the Sunny Caucasus
  He didn"t die, he just stepped out of the kiosk for a smoke.
  Serpent
  A violinist is needed.
  Cul-de-Sac
  A dead-end gutter for the rich kids on the streets of Beverly Hills.
  Double Bass
  It"s dead weight dangling on a string - we don"t need that in our quintet.
  Shameless Faces
  They threaten to slaughter the entire nations and factions with a nuclear club in hand.
  Puerto Rico
  They just might have the best infantry and spies in the world.
  Cinema and Germans
  Let the war go - that"s where you"ll find the highest number of dead actors.
  Mieczysław
  Keep your throws to a minimum.
  Aviator
  A downed pilot is a hard target to hit at treetop level.
  Mutual Agreement of Both Parties
  They drew the Russians in with sweet talk and then fired all of them.
  Hello? Is this Pakistan?
  Quick, we have to call Geydar Dzhemal"s father.
  Shame
  The country"s bigwigs sleep around with each other in one heap and have no wives; talk about a contrast.
  Murderess
  She"s tightening the noose on our connections and our moves.
  Maybach
  I can"t believe this imbecile got in a Maybach and dipped out of the neighborhood.
  Patriarch"s Convoy
  Back when my brother was driving for the patriarch, he"d chain-smoke behind the wheel. They had to
  remove one of his lungs. Then he retired, and I stepped up to take his place to cruise the districts of
  Moscow. Still smoking behind the wheel "Petr" brand cigarettes.
  Military Target
  A legitimate military target, a parade or a formation on the parade ground.
  Thanks Everyone
  The bad guys have been dealt with. You"re all free to go.
  Dum-Dee-Dum
  A razor across the eyes and drop it in the well.
  King of Donbas
  He smokes expensive cigarettes from a pack labelled "King size."
  LDPR
  May I roll my sleeves up and get to work wearing my comfy glasses?
  Peaked Cap
  I found a militia peaked cap in the village bathhouse attic. It was full of golden wheat grain - my
  grandfather"s stash for a loaf of bread. Guess he never got to use it.
  Helicopter
  Someone pulled their head out of their ass.
  Captive of Three Station Square
  The first call goes to the speculators and the Russian nomenklatura.
  Green
  And that soldier boy is as green as they come.
  Gold Ring
  Put that gold ring away if you don"t want any troubles. I mean it.
  Red Crab Ticket
  I"ll let you hold on to my member.
  Denisovan
  There"s nothing mystical about it - it"s a tourist"s breakfast.
  Churko-o"сlock
  The time spent in the bathhouse as a stoker.
  Newest History
  First they burned all the politicians, then they beheaded the doctors. Then a war for survival broke out
  among the actors. In the end, the clowns won.
  Architect
  My best friend is the chief architect from Bashkortostan, he halts clouds in their track.
  Feedback
  He said or rather blurted out and bounced off.
  Evil Streets
  A fight over a parking spot broke out - a fallout between craft beer sponsors. A module lottery with no
  chance of winning.
  Amirkhan
  Amirkhan doesn"t need love to reach the optimal, solid condition.
  Retrobolide
  An injection in the back of the favorite and the dark horse.
  Fallen Skies 2
  Why didn"t the skies fall? Where"s the filth? The looting and the UFOs?
  Terem and I
  Terem and I took over the Snowman"s apartment.
  Red Sun
  Walk away from the Sun, not towards it - and don"t try to find a place in the sun.
  Hanging Gardens of Babylon
  Those are your adrenal glands when you"re asleep, they sway, wither, and swell up.
  Tough Conversation
  An agronomist called me. His voice was metallic, rough and wheezing. In short, your typical suffocating
  bore; he sucked the life out of me. I put down the black receiver with its braided two-core cord, and
  opened the iron door with a key.
  Path of the Warlock from Hungary
  He walked between the Chicago Boys, nurtured by Soviet science.
  Metronome consistency
  Swaying - is a protection from arrows, stray shrapnel, and back-stabbers.
  Wipers
  A million drops that way - a million drops this way. What"s the difference?
  Stuttgart
  The glorious gunsmiths, watchmakers, and repairmen - all outlawed now.
  Shit-Actors
  They don"t get too far - their ass still shows.
  Brain Ring
  I don"t understand a damn thing; I need to nag the property developers.
  Femen
  Don"t whistle, Shamakhan queen - that"s an explosion at a pasta factory in Georgia.
  Shut Your Beak
  A junction of juicy spit, dust, and air bubbles.
  Axc
  Eyes wide open, waiting for the barbarians and the karkalyga trappers.
  Contrast
  Stepping into contrast - hiding from the living world.
  Scarlet Letter
  A fancy letter, some words, and scars all over.
  Caution: Wet Paint
  Railings, fences, and benches.
  Shrubbery
  They can catch fire or sink.
  Mouse Fever
  Working as cattle hide receiver, I caught mouse fever. A mouse bit me when I went to the icehouse to
  grab the skins. I had a fever, and my emotions and senses became dulled. After recovering, I started
  crossing myself with two fingers.
  Bull of a Man
  When he passed, they placed copper coins on his glassy eyes and threw paper rubles into the coffin, lined
  with red fabric. The crooks at the wake poured half a shot of wheat vodka, placed it by his photo, and
  covered it with a piece of stale black bread. Then the band started playing, and the whole procession
  shuffled through the village. I stepped into a phone booth and dialed 2
  Gera
  Megera pushed her mate Gera from the car straight into the water. Cut you out, Gera! Cut you out!
  Tar Kiln
  It was set up by the ravine. The old man boiled tar from pine and birch bark. He"d layer the bark up, then
  lower it into the vat with fire hooks. The thick black tar came out at the other end and went straight into
  barrels. As a byproduct, he got paraffin, turpentine, and rosin - produced through steam distillation. He
  tarred boats on the riverbank, bathhouses, and the gates to the yard of the local loose women.
  Fresh Snow
  The old woman didn"t remember her name, or who she was, but she knew for certain that her house was
  over there, in that village on the little hill.
  Podvoisky School
  Learning the trade to the howling wind, the chime of a cuckoo clock, and the distant growling of a lynx.
  Death Warrant
  A warrant for a bachelor, for a new apartment in the city center.
  Name of the Rose
  You don"t have to smell the rose with a gas mask on anymore.
  Engine
  Guys, check the valves and the belt. And don"t leave the engine running with no load.
  Devil"s Roots
  I became a matchmaker and a puppet in someone else"s devilish game
  Troll
  The Irish troll was getting wasted and talking trash, so the AI sewed up his torpedo. That shut him up.
  Short Circuit
  Buzz-buzz - out of the question.
  Cultivator
  Heard on the grapevine, "For a bottle, Petya will cultivate and harrow the potato field."
  Towering Neck
  The long-necked animal - an endangered species.
  House Warming Crew 2
  They watch your cable TV, open and inspect your fridge, jump in your pool, and brush their teeth with
  your toothbrush.
  Fire hazard
  The crooks set up a police station in the village, after taking the "prosecutor"s" revolver from an oak desk.
  Gloomy Regular
  The bathhouse attendant, the man dancing with someone else"s wife at the club, the hooligan at the
  stadium, the drunk driver.
  Bruise
  A pilot with his arm in a sling messed me up, leaving a bruise under my eye with my own luggage.
  Snowdrop Corpse
  If you don"t wanna end up as a snowdrop - don"t drink yourself stupid on the way back from the khutor in
  winter.
  One-Man Act
  He needs enlightenment, goes through the motions, monkeys around, and hoards dog hair.
  Veterinarian
  One vet for several villages, he treats both livestock and humans. He delivers babies, cuts the umbilical
  cord. Sometimes he pulls out rotten teeth. The grateful locals pay him in natural goods: milk, honey, and
  chacha.
  DJ Gurzuf
  He brings anarchy to the dancefloor, hands up, pants down.
  Pharaoh"s Land
  The sea"s spread out far and wide. Pharaoh, can"t you see where it ends?
  Legacy
  What you can"t pass on - ether, bitcoin, a tree.
  Coming Out of the Fire
  Hellfire has reached the fireplace. If someone is doing well, then someone else must be doing poorly. We
  clink glasses of champagne on a bearskin rug.
  Disgrace
  What are you wearing? Shameful, pure disgrace!
  Necessary People
  The poor - they work all the time, but they eat nothing but fish.
  Fumbler
  Sergeant Pumpkin nags him, "A clumsy man"s hands never hurt!"
  Words
  Power word, "You"re toast!"
  Words
  Repair word, "Fire on the birdhouse!"
  Bulk Goods
  Bulk goods suffer from chronic insomnia.
  Wood Pigeon
  He"s always dealing with a permanent shortage and sometimes by alternating current.
  Septic Tank
  For a whole year, I worked in Jerusalem as a shit-cleaner, a goldsmith of waste, an expert in all kinds of
  shit. We drove an old Mercedes-Benz T1 minibus with the slogan, "Shit - that"s our job." We installed
  septic tanks and cleared sewer blockages. Sometimes we had to dig trenches for double pay. And while
  working with shit, I found my love.
  Vertical Race
  Everyone ran off and I stayed at the finish line.
  Stooped
  The old woman, bent over the potato patch, was making holes in the ground using a shovel handle, which
  had turned as hard as a stake.
  Irishman
  If an Irishman shits, he does so in red bricks only.
  Breeze
  Flying over razor blades.
  Unalterable Truths
  All roads lead to cemetery.
  Blame Yourself
  Newbie, you"ve only got yourself to blame, "The serf woman whips herself when she gathers a crop
  carelessly. You reap what you sow."
  Surface and Depth
  Girls love smart guys who work with machines, those big-brained eggheads.
  Volunteer
  Careful handling of cracks and chips.
  Shaggy
  He hadn"t washed or brushed his hair in days.
  Beetles
  The fire beetle, the Colorado potato beetle, the Maybeetle, and the dung beetle all have a negative
  connotation.
  Schmuck
  He made a face, "Boys, no tips today!"
  Tamed Raven
  He knows that there might be a layer of ash at the bottom of the glass.
  Iteration
  "Zoned out" guy with a gun.
  Angel
  A mere zero.
  Leather Man
  Even though things were tense between us, he still saluted me, pressing two fingers to his balding, peeling
  head.
  Righteous Man"s Head
  Only the voice of God always echoes in the righteous man"s head.
  Soviet Union
  The S.S. Soviet Union is sinking, it"s just physics and pure math.
  Sima
  Granny Sima was wandering around the flea market. Useless goods were laid out all around her. A slick,
  businesslike guy had printer cartridges for sale. She bought them on a whim. Then on the way home, she
  left them on the steamboat.
  Izzycycle
  Torque got on the Izzycycle, turned on the gravity, and blasted across the Mojave Desert.
  Bureaucrats
  Beasts of every kind and shape.
  Little Mushroom
  I was on the beach, standing under the mushroom umbrella. A "mushroom" rain started. I pulled a
  cucumber move and stuffed it into my swim trunks. All the girls were mine...
  To the Lads
  Let"s raise a glass, for real, to high-maintenance relationships, to the lads!
  Shoddy
  Lemonade for sixty-one rubles.
  Ass
  No point in paying for every jackass.
  Bakery
  The One-leg from the bakery, I realized it was an old pirate I once knew.
  1578
  You can"t please everyone - that"s life.
  Scruff
  An unsifted and unfiltered filth from under the fingernails.
  Airport
  In bad weather - like a fish in water.
  Loo
  The flush doesn"t work. In warm weather, every body of water will let you answer the call of nature.
  Predatory London vs. Soviet Cities
  London swallowed Gorky, then Chkalov. Rybinsk and Karaganda were the real jackpot cities. The East
  India Company had never seen that much loot sent for processing.
  Flag
  The city with its flag flying at half-mast means "chilling" and "not on guard."
  Troubadours
  That trembling voice, you"d recognize it through centuries. A holy place is never empty.
  Crescendo
  Beyond the hill - barking, and someone demanding the Doors.
  Trans
  The fire salamander and fire water - and dances with a tambourine, around a bonfire, in a cave with
  drawings of ancient gods.
  Mother-in-law
  My brother"s mother-in-law lived in the spirit world in the Valley of Fire. I made my way to her through
  an Indian reservation. The road ran through the land of fire - smoke rose from geysers, and lava found its
  way through cracks. I was just about there when a snake crossed my path; with a quick swing of my club,
  I struck it down. I skinned it and brought the skin to my brother"s mother-in-law, who dripped venom into
  a vessel. In a spacious wigwam, I lay down to sleep.
  Sausage Business
  A sausage-maker walked into the hangar. "Well, hello there, stranger," said the Indian nicknamed
  "Business Sausage", and threw a spear at him.
  Coral Necklace
  I traded a barrel of gunpowder to Hawk for a coral necklace. Any questions? Take them to him.
  Big Top
  Ladies and gents - you"re just getting silenced.
  Bollocks
  When you ain"t clocking the game - and all the black squares are taken.
  IT Guy
  Russia - the age of tall tales.
  Stabilizer
  Gennady"s wife returned, and so did their relationship. His eyesight got better - he forgot all about his
  glasses. He"d get on his bike and ride off to their dacha house.
  Fuck If I Care
  A young guy, sober and loaded with cash; and more women than you can count.
  Bridle Lock
  "Denis and I - we go as a pair," I said, biting the bridle.
  Curtain
  Behind the curtain - a scoundrel, a dance ball, and some pennies.
  Mute as a Fish
  You need a Dorado or a Fugu memory module - it"s a crazy risk.
  Atomic Heart
  Dental floss and a thimble with a hole - and the dark deed is done.
  Love Is
  When he gave you the key to his heart and took out the trash.
  Tormented
  I skip the fatties, the brawlers, and the twins.
  Dire Poverty
  The capital"s a ghost town. They need more working hands.
  Intestine Rambler
  He listened to heavy rock on St. George"s Day and vomited all over.
  Clued-In
  Armenian sanctions on the US: iron jaws on the dead and a post in the road.
  Last of His Kind
  The Russian leader"s riding in on a silver steed.
  Riders from Beyond
  In ragged clothes, slowly, without looking back, they came down from the hill and drove away the herd of
  heifers.
  Dr. Graveyard
  He practices urine therapy and healing people through photos.
  102 kg of Loneliness
  A pair of washed-out ripped jeans, hanging by two wooden clothespins, drying in the sun.
  Turret
  A twin cannon, with a rotating mechanism, firing shells under gas pressure.
  Midgets
  Hey jerk, we"re just small kids, not midgets.
  Warlock
  He missed the bull"s-eye, got grabbed by the balls after messing with emulsion - all before a rooster
  crowed.
  Plot
  Someone rang my doorbell. I opened the door - and there stood a tall, middle-aged man in a black hat. He
  addressed me immediately, "You stole my plot!"
  I said, "I don"t remember you - talk to my literary agent," and shut the door. In the morning, he left a
  manuscript under a large stone by the door.
  Chatterers
  They"re locked in the Ostankino tower, and even more so, locked in the heavens.
  Oh, Russia
  Caviar, vodka, and a balalaika.
  Fire
  Five fire waves on the log, I extinguished it in proper Pioneer-style.
  Coffee Stop
  Red stains on the toilet paper.
  MosGas
  To go through the pipe to the autonomous steam discharge.
  Connecting North America
  I told him to say "Ah" - the caller came back with, "The crow-ma"."
  God-Fighter
  By fighting hard and training relentlessly, you become a God.
  Basin
  It"s easier to set you on fire, to scatter you, than to heal and feed you.
  Jester
  When you say "Devil," he does a "Pa" and jingles his little bells.
  Growth
  The doc told me to undress. After feeling me over, he said, "You"ve got a horrible growth!"
  W.W.Hovansky
  Whatever you do on camera, just don"t laugh for the video.
  Baboon
  I"m not your monkey man, got it!?
  Divine Enterprise
  Own up to your shit!
  So What if the Russians Bail from Ukraine?
  Many will be knocked off their feet, and some won"t even shake your hand, and so on...
  Combatants
  They fight without underwear and without any brains.
  Chatbot
  Wouldn"t it be better for the mind to turn upon itself?
  Grabber
  The earth"s depths belong to the people.
  Leather Patch
  I was requested to trim the sneakers and stitch them with a leather patch cloth to make them half a size
  smaller. In addition, to shorten the leather gloves.
  Backwater Town
  A cutting-edge, fastest-developing city - I"m telling you, as its former mayor.
  Flash
  We"ll growl, and you - bite her.
  Orks
  They move in leaps. And keep their catch on a short leash. They cling tight like caterpillars. And swarm
  over people and elves in a mob.
  Alcove
  This is the music and the truth.
  Little Things
  Couldn"t ditch the change in Bruges - but I dropped it off in Yaroslavl.
  One Stone at a Time
  I laid my worn-out man to rest. Grabbed the coat and headed home.
  Cinderella
  Once she wore those red shoes, none of her other pairs ever fit right again. After that, she started keeping
  a diary.
  Dropouts
  They jump onto moving trains at stations and ride in circles. Characters from a game: Boris the engineer,
  who inspects the carriages. Tanselya the conductor. Mishka Bosos"s gang. A police post on railway
  transport - 4 people (armed). The Left Man - the game"s antagonist. Objective: deliver nylon stockings to
  the city.
  What Will the Gas Giants Say?
  From below, looking up, they gave us a hint: dress for the weather and pop your lower jaw back in place.
  Dupes
  They watched the dope fading off them.
  Forgotten Watch
  The Raven summons Philip and Stallion.
  On the Outskirts
  I called on the videophone. "I need Dr. Naymark!" I said. A gleaming white ass appeared on the screen,
  asking, "What is your business?"
  I said, I was an old buddy from the Gyros crew. "The doctor is not seeing anyone," the videophone
  answered and hung up.
  Connections and Roles
  The loss of connections and role interaction within an organized criminal group. Types include: the
  foreman, the torpedo, the linkman, and so on.
  Sergeant Major Vyushin
  He kept an eye on everything that withered and dragged out a pitiful existence. Allowing no "snatch-and-
  scratch" in his line of duty.
  Job
  Only through lamentation and outcry did Job pull himself out.
  Microtronics
  Bull in a shop of wonders.
  Chocolate
  We had quite enough of it, so we decided to "lay low" in a quiet province.
  Deputy Commander for the Rear
  He won"t hook you up - and he won"t lend you money. Total scumbag of a rear guy.
  Positioned
  Behind the forest, not a cloud in sight.
  "Why Skvo?", My Question
  She put on a witch"s hat and said, "They fear for their own skin and they"re scared to lose their jobs."
  Clara
  The USSR steamer hit the iceberg "Great Armenia" and is going down bow-first. The rats have already
  jumped ship.
  Celandine
  The doctors are behind a concrete wall.
  Hard Times
  You have to get into fights and visit the few bars in town.
  Oak Sorcerers
  You"re sitting wrong - switch places.
  Pale
  I lit my pipe and through the heavy clouds of smoke spotted the pale guy.
  Warm Blanket
  A patch of dense leaves, acorns, and raven feathers by the ancient oak. Near the hot springs.
  Waiting for the Exhale
  There"s no shame in changing habits, your philosophy and in giving your heart a workout.
  Doctor
  It"s shameful to see a doctor.
  Stabs in the Back
  They make your ass ache.
  Tar Pools
  Where the shepherd wouldn"t take the calves and heifers in the summer heat. Makarych"s face twitches,
  remembering such a thing, as if someone had pissed in his holy water.
  Clicking the Link
  It"s non-stop calls from obligors - to the point of spontaneous combustion
  Herbalist
  Let"s poison your friend Valya by pouring "mole" into her glass.
  Last Week"s News
  How many more rounds of this nonsense?
  Triumph
  The fires in Australia are a disaster. I had to use my Triumph bike to carry more than one dingo out of the
  bush.
  Roo Bars
  A roo bar against a tank. Wait, is this allowed?
  Don"t Stand Under Loads
  A bus stop and a bike lane, both were right in the crane"s swing radius.
  Excavator Operator
  "Either I dig, or I don"t dig," he snapped back at the foreman in a hard hat.
  Fleeting Light
  A moving pulse in a three-dimensional xyz coordinate system.
  Solidarity
  To keep things balanced, we need: cow, goat, and camel milk.
  God
  That"s a all-mighty crane.
  Pirate Bartender
  He lives by the code - if you want to talk, we must trade with him.
  Pentagram
  An endless vibrating telescopic baton.
  Shabbat
  Calls to the taxi driver on Shabbat - I don"t pick up. I work by the meter and by the whistle in the city.
  Marked by Evil
  A watcher with a huge hole in his heart.
  Joint
  We came to ruin you and sent you out on the streets.
  Jean Sokirko
  A Roger Wilco type, how is this guy still alive? Dressed in a leather jacket, he read other people"s mail on
  the stairwells.
  Character Assassination 2
  It starts with words referred to a person and continues with a sneer at the rules and foundations.
  Nowhere to Hide
  The abyss and the sea get in the way of a bad teacher.
  Otherworldly
  Elijah rides on a fiery chariot on the other side. I dip ersatz bread into a bowl of butter and drift on
  autopilot toward home.
  Romance
  Angels amuse themselves, shining at each other through the night.
  Deep Throat
  By the method of shrinkage and settling - squeeze out everything possible and impossible out of him.
  Instigators
  They lose it all and scream in a booming voice like their throats are made of steel.
  Behind Glass
  In one window looked three. One saw the two through the glass, they were having breakfast across the
  street. The other two only saw their own room.
  Full Calculation
  Wooden abacus and two clean accounting ledgers. One for income, the other for expenses.
  Suit Tailoring
  A French curve, a ruler, some pins, a cutting table, scissors, chalk, a measuring tape, and most
  importantly, the fabric.
  Fleece
  This is not a collapse, it is a flight, resembling a tactical retreat.
  Swept Under the Rug
  All the names and surnames of the revolutionaries.
  International Trade Union
  A place of power, a point of assembly, where the eternal flame burns.
  Illusion
  I swear I have more than 500 children. One of them was kidnapped, I had to pay them off. I found a way -
  to wipe and take off the glasses.
  Geologist Shvyryayev
  He tosses stones, gathers tinder and timothy grass. He pokes straws up gadflies" butts and inflates frogs.
  Pale Horse
  Quick and dead.
  Despot
  Mr. President, you"re a despot. And us journalists? We"re the undertaker crew.
  Replicant
  Says nothing new, steals the audience"s collective time.
  Hero
  He has a Marquis with a hole in it.
  Mrot
  The greed of the English nobility knows no bounds. It is caused by heart valve failure. The doctors
  recommend hosting a dinner party and doing simple work every day.
  House of Celebrations 2
  The Queen allows hiring anons, bio-livestock, and serfs. They fished, set traps, and marked the territory.
  Marlene Dietrich
  Carmen, an Armageddon for men, with a face that never loses its freshness.
  Snatcher
  Either you snatch them - or you"ll get beaten.
  Toward the Karkalyga
  Wind under the nose. Camel thorn in the desert. Barbed wire before the eyes - with positive vibrations.
  Witches
  Funny how the old women hop and dance around.
  Twins
  Missing one egg and one face.
  Suwałki Gap
  They sell cotton candy in there. There"s an arcade machine, some random junk. Grease drips from the
  ceiling. It"s better to move around in boots.
  Monument
  I erected a monument to myself almost for free, made of marble chips.
  Nuclear Tidbit
  I was accused of taking on another person"s identity in order to start World War III and a lunar
  apocalypse.
  Phantom
  My phantom had a good swim underwater and after smoking some weed, it quickly gained altitude.
  Brother"s Heart
  A fiery heart that deceives everyone else, but not you.
  Gas Wrench
  Death gushes out - don"t stand aside, or behind.
  Swindle
  Pouty lips and a happy ending.
  Mikhryutka
  He practices divorce and has taken his wife"s maiden name, Selden.
  Bone Game
  I had three spare bones - a tongue with no bones, a bone in my throat, and a tailbone. We rolled them for
  distance, on schedule.
  Kingdome come
  Stop the record - I"m getting off. I hit the ground like a bird and turned into a handsome prince.
  Dry Twig
  One of my branches dried up and bore no fruit. I cut it off with pruning shears so the tree would stay
  healthy.
  Headlines
  Only "medical" facts.
  Taxi Driver"s Earring
  Enchanted for +25 resistance to sorcery.
  Peacock TV
  Fleshy faces and crooked grimaces on TV, magnified through a lens.
  Christ and Rick
  Whom God has joined together, a man will find a way to trick.
  Midshipman
  Nose to the wind - keeps his chin up.
  Sourpuss
  When in doubt - chew.
  Erotic Outfit
  Thongs and laces all stuck in the crack.
  Aramis
  Please, write me a recommendation letter.
  Kakha Cartosio
  We"ve all had enough of his fussing and yapping. Better to hang with Pashka, a strapping bloke, built like
  a brick shithouse.
  Empire of Evil
  Bathed by sea waves, and birthplace of elephants.
  Sugar Cube
  My team and I worked the coach over every way we could. We tapped his phone, dragged his desk into
  the street, whistled off-key, ate bananas outside. Dripped him through a sugar cube like they do with
  absinthe.
  Nikolai Palkin
  The drill, "Stick, stick, and a little green man."
  Hick Town
  Any town to a country bumpkin, as long as they got a garrison.
  Chicanery 2
  Turkish chicanery is bottomless. We had been drinking pretty hard, me and the guys. They"ve put me on a
  flight to Gaziantep, when I was meant to be heading to Kazantip. Shit happens...
  Void
  Heads up, everyone, void, refund, and cancel.
  Police Labor Strike
  Unlimited hops and sugar.
  Stream
  An endless stream of piss and treacle.
  Impotent Rage
  Staring, spitting, calling on the phone - and dancing.
  Super Strip
  A strip of fog behind glass, out over the coastal waters.
  Washbear Raccoon
  The raccoon at the river at night, washing laundry on a washboard.
  Visit to the Tailor
  I"m flying full sail toward a custom order, to the work I love.
  Skepticism
  The courtiers spent their days tormenting the dark crystal. Breeding skepticism at every turn.
  Head of Civil Defense and Emergency Situations
  He never lets his guard down, always running civil defense drills. After they fired him, it was all dancing
  with the stars and softcore porn on the premises.
  Lily-handed
  Reads the freshest, crisply ironed yellow papers.
  Petrovich
  Any middle-aged, handy guy with a beard.
  Surviving in a Leather Jacket
  Always fight back. Share your light. Lend a hand, give a car a shove, bring a man to his feet. Travel on
  foot or by horse-drawn cart. Never work for the man.
  Top Seed
  My buddy is Russia"s top "black" seed in tennis.
  Barrymore the Butler
  He held the keys to the brandy, locked away from the guests and Sir Henry.
  Swindle 2
  A beard transplanted from a scrotum.
  Pony
  A ride for the second-class citizens.
  Gloves
  Leather gloves boost running speed.
  Journalist"s Creed
  Only the verified facts, no ulterior motives, and pay no mind to the people.
  Circus
  Under the big top of the Israeli circus, there"s not enough room for everyone.
  Betrothed
  "Miss, where is your betrothed?" inquired the border guard.
  "He"s gone now, but we are already one flesh," she replied.
  Lanky
  Lanky, down in Yasenevo, skating on ice beneath the onion dome.
  Fatty
  He pisses in a bucket. Talks to the TV and eats all the damn time.
  Monkey Mask
  To use, to control, and to live inside out.
  Nose
  It was warm - honey and beer dripped from the nose, but none of it made it to the mouth.
  Blackshirt
  Obscene language and Latin all for 300 grand.
  Whelp
  I carry everything I own with me, so I don"t trip while walking.
  Black Colonel
  He raised an eyebrow, chewed the corner of his mustache. "Time to bust this joint," he said, pulled on his
  mac and fastened a belt.
  Benzac Fuel
  There are about roughly 2 million women in Russia who can fill your tank.
  Wasteland
  People of the wasteland, you"re used to living without water. Thus I"m sending you some water:
  billboards, abbreviations, mangled street plates in broken English. Let the battle for gasoline begin.
  No Binzin Fuel
  Binzina Ivanishvili - a seer, a visionary, or just a lucky businessman.
  Crocodile
  The Beer Lovers Party took over and swallowed the Communists. The Communist leader stuck his
  tongue out.
  Ragamuffin
  Neither into the bosom of the church, nor into the Red Army.
  Guiding Lines
  The ribbons of a sailor"s cap were my guiding lines.
  Apple Trees
  Soon all the apple trees on Earth will be gone.
  Restorer
  Alright, lads, break"s over. Time to get back to work.
  Sasha Sever
  Five little women inside.
  Pennies
  Cash comes and goes like sparrows, the card dealer takes his cut in reds.
  Mr Negative
  The old man broke someone else"s pram and I took all the heat for it.
  Europe
  Time to put a full stop on this relationship.
  Starfall
  A flicker of hope.
  Professor"s Head Falls Off
  Festivals and contests - and dances with no feeling in it.
  Yellowstripe Scad
  A white stripe, a black stripe, and a whole lot of energy.
  Notary Public
  There"s always a crowd at the Notary"s. A visa signed by his hand can seal your fate.
  Where the Fern Blooms
  The fern blooms beyond the beaver dam, where the strawberry tendrils run wild.
  Glass Cleaner
  I drunk a ton of glass-cleaner, and stood there swaying, watching the parade.
  Obsessed
  Little things mean the world to him, while his own well-being is just background noise.
  Portvegas
  The greatest warrior of the dawn.
  Fistula
  To close the fistula - all it takes is one match head.
  Fakir Show
  Grabbing a bottle of oil, he rasped, "Time to pay the fiddler!" He poured it down his throat and spat a jet
  of fire at the musician.
  AI (Artificial Intelligence)
  A cover-up and a plaything for the rich.
  Phone Booth
  Fifteen minutes is more than you"ll ever need.
  Madonna
  A sacrifice is required for the drinking water.
  Shit-talking
  Influence people by cussing them out.
  Feng Shui Style
  One foot here, one foot there, and two heads are better than one.
  MiG-29
  Two little siskins with PhDs, together.
  Disappointment
  It used to be more prominent - and with a head start on the rest of my peers.
  Delivery Person
  Kindergarten, school, university - and I ended up a delivery person.
  Elders of Zion
  They turned their backs on the uncreated light. To them, the excess people are dung. Time will tell who
  ended up where.
  To Each Their Own
  But all together, in one go.
  Happening
  Hugs, radiating happiness, and sweet words.
  Artificial Intelligence
  Comes with a frame, screws, and batteries.
  Services
  It kills with a reflection, identical, like two drops of water.
  Not State-Owned Legs
  An imp, and a victim of marketing. The state might come calling for those legs. These aren"t state-owned.
  Six Days of Peace
  On the seventh day, the war of infinity.
  Moska
  It doesn"t shine or sparkle, but not a feather out of place.
  Turkish Yuppies
  They don"t eat meat that"s all gristle. Only fillet.
  Birdman
  He utters, "I am a crow."
  Burn
  Not a devil's mark.
  Translator: Eugenia Dzugkoeva
  Editor: Aleksandra Stepovaya Yaroslavl Translation Service, LLC
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Новые книги авторов СИ, вышедшие из печати:
О.Болдырева "Крадуш. Чужие души" М.Николаев "Вторжение на Землю"

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