Тимофеев Вячеслав Владимирович
Aron Stepanyan Fiasco

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  Fiasco
  Soviet Flint
  Scrubbed a five-kopeck coin with a copper belt buckle.
  Stepdaughter
  Pumps oil for North America.
  Podnebesny (Critique)
  He boldly argues that the Russian girls should be more like the women in the US and the UK: to disregard
  their fathers" judgement and the Domostroy. Sorting grains and needlework make him laugh. The very
  idea of matchmaking is dismissed as well.
  Nose Bridge
  I sat on a perch, humming a tune, missing my turn.
  Hole Punch in Tbilisi
  For receipts and driver"s licenses.
  Girl Got Johnny-Depped
  Sliding his hand along her spine, a North Caucasian man, with a rose gripped between his teeth, deftly
  dipped her in a passionate dance.
  Militarization
  In the house of the blind, the strippers militarized.
  American Woman
  She knows how to kiss a deer, but won"t make a snowflake.
  Wild Qi Energy
  The cattle and the bees in the village stopped hiding their droppings and brood.
  Buried Moscow
  No one cares about your movements. News from the last decade.
  Scanner
  Starting the desync, the Scanner says, "Slob on my knob!" Licking a finger, I respond, "You took the
  words right out of my mouth!"
  I"m Weak
  I lost my eyesight looking at this jerkwater town.
  Giant
  Zheka the Giant got run over by a band"s tour bus.
  Italian Tie
  Tailored from patterns with fusible interfacing.
  Photographer
  The photographer in a tubeteika, thinking that the world revolves around him, clings tightly to his life, at
  the very last second.
  Skirt
  A black skirt with a cutout in the back split at the seam.
  A chick or a jock?
  An absolute truth or a spherical cow in a vacuum?
  Chub
  Are you angling me on joints and thresholds?
  Father"s Money
  If needed - give it, easy as falling off a log. Tumbleweed-son.
  Zoophile
  Convinced that not all dogs go to heaven.
  Greenhorns
  A rag-tag bunch of sleepless hacks.
  The Sea Spread Wide
  We mixed up the seasons and crossed the Red Sea on ice.
  Blood Clot
  Fumbled again.
  Green Beret
  Plowed through that field, through and through to the marrow.
  Dunno
  After Dunno discovered that the Moon was empty and after the subsequent ruin of Sun city, he settled in
  comfortably - in Hell.
  Percent
  That"s what you"ll lose when it"s all over.
  Citramon
  Old hags and I are hooked on this drug.
  Thorium-based matches
  A star, hope kindled inside it.
  Outlaw
  The Boar, the Flies, the Raven, and the Tree of Life.
  Filaret
  The blasphemer"s shipwreck and a mighty one.
  Blood Worm
  A red oil painting - quite a sight.
  Middle Ages
  Rubber face and butt.
  Soda
  A tender hearted boy has a finger in every pie.
  Pauper
  They kicked his ass down from the Heavens. He now works at a pharmacy.
  Horizon
  If you"re not using Dutch angle, Uncle Sam awaits you.
  First name, Patronymic
  A brave heart and a series of little tragedies.
  Strawberry Runners
  In the abbey, I tended to grapevines and strawberry runners. After mass, I marked the days on the
  calendar - thrashed it. Strawberry fields stretched endlessly. That"s how I rid myself of poor taste - in
  clothing, in conversation, and in music.
  Spitzbergen
  The island of the devoured.
  Luggage Porter
  "Sir! This suitcase is full of shit from the Russian president - it"s to go under the New Year tree!"
  Clutch
  Crutches, carts, walkers - they neither turn the world nor leave the dead rest.
  Porcine Mimetic Pipeline
  Two pigs won"t reverse - and one pig eats another.
  Bathroom
  A catfish, a burbot and a goldfish stuck in the bathroom.
  Bullfinch
  The winner, Linda"s number one guy.
  Across the River in the Shade of Trees
  There"s Alaska, work that suits you, French speech, hot tea and old fashioned etiquette.
  Slop
  List of ingredients: mayo, instant ramen, and two sausages.
  Story About a White Calf
  Two heads and an empty chalice of sins.
  Bioshock
  Of paramount importance: 1 + 1 = 1
  Ogre
  All ears - and always hungry.
  Chocolate
  I"d be happy to get into heaven, but my shortcomings are holding me back.
  Hellfire
  Deride the faults of vulgar women, make mention of the paltry, invoke uncertainty, permit the airing of
  one"s dirty laundry.
  Demonic Tools
  To tame the flesh: clips, pins, staples and bolts.
  Password of Death
  Bookworm. Myopia - it"s my word against yours.
  Maggots
  I"ll keep my distance and stay off his field. When they speak of the dead, Yurets is quick on his feet
  - can"t be beat.
  House heating
  Father Frost, a cat, a mouse and a moonshine distiller.
  Prices Bite
  Net and gross are two twin brothers.
  For Real
  Linear thinking and four walls.
  Neocon
  No windows, no doors... The roaches went on a pilgrimage.
  Tub
  A family in a tub - ran a red light. Faced the storm. Had the tub been safe, you"d wonder at the story"s
  length.
  Portrait
  The artist in the portrait - over the years he became a real son of a bitch.
  Onto Kitsch
  Firefighters - a flamethrower onto kitsch.
  Piece of Eden
  That"s a grain of rationality.
  Risen from the Ass
  You who were born in a black man"s ass or in the trunk of a car - make yourselves known!
  The Wars of Flowers
  The War of the Roses and a couple of narcissists thrown in.
  Gymnastyorka
  One military tunic drove a captured Dutchman crazy.
  Pink Little Devils
  My finances are singing romances and I"m on a tie.
  Dark Cultist 2
  The commemorative ruble just like a medal has two sides.
  Mistake
  The money is not in the bedside table, but on the bedside table.
  Venture Capital
  Where devils dance in sandals.
  Understatement
  It relies on prejudices and clichés.
  Someone Else"s Track
  Free alcohol and snacks.
  Hawthorn Skull
  It lends you good sense and wit - according to the chronicles.
  Mishka Kvakin
  He"d chase pigeons and summon his crew with a swaggering whistle.
  Truth
  Gen Z are Jesuits and a Skuf is a knockoff Scythian.
  Matchmaker for the Mind
  In Rus", matchmakers abound - and arrogance all around.
  Zagorsk
  She"s 10 but she"s from Zagorsk.
  Two Captains
  An aviation captain and a submarine captain - they ascended in sync, one giving the other a hand.
  Ski Pole in Flight
  While the ski pole was in flight, the sergeant major smoked a cigarette, glanced at his watch, and took out
  an enemy guard.
  Garage Construction Cooperative
  Pay your taxes and sleep soundly.
  Mentor
  A mentor in shiny patent boots, on thin and crooked legs, along the spacious path - on a knife"s edge. If
  you"re going to die, make it to music.
  Protégé
  Brash and lame protégé.
  Russian Sailor
  He knows how to ask the right question.
  Cyst
  Gut-molester and impotent - open up your mind.
  Formula of Meaning
  A little fir tree born in the forest and so are the gifts of the Magi.
  Beard
  A beard won"t guarantee victory - you have to do the heavy lifting.
  Male Nurse
  That sickly sweet male nurse, you couldn"t get a glass of water out of him if your life depended on it.
  French Baguette Crust
  Workers and unions go on strike; soldiers desert the ranks.
  What? Where? When?
  When did you hatch? You - beat-up piece of work. I know what you are!
  Behind the Local Garages
  This is the final fantasy.
  Salam and Barely So
  One chair for both of them.
  If You Are Not Bolsheviks
  Then you"ve all been lying - with all the consequences.
  Vladivostok, Two Thousand Rubles
  The fate of Sodom and Gomorrah may very well await this city.
  Commandant"s Office
  The commandant"s office is up and running, they started checking documents in contested territories.
  Gaz Jeep
  Joint effort through sweat and labor, produces a Gaz jeep.
  My Past and Thoughts
  The generation of Pepsi, private cars, and home computers.
  Banking Business
  Banking for dummies: the bank isn"t linked to a phone - there"s silence and banking confidentiality.
  Crack
  A soapy trickle of laundry soap.
  Communal Candle
  A nickel-plated tray that kept coming back to the communal candle. "I"ll show you a museum," said the
  camera. My sister disappeared, along with the table runner and all the food.
  Little Hawk
  A conformist, a grabber, a flyer.
  Sanitary Inspector
  The sanitary inspector roamed around the market, fining anyone with stale meat and pawing spoiled
  goods for himself. He had a camera with him and a roll of film with 10 exposures. He used two of them,
  sending the market director into a stupor.
  Sugar Curve 3
  It always trends upward. It can be adjusted by donating blood and reducing sugar consumption.
  But in France...
  America is out of our league now.
  Switchboard
  "Hello, miss - is this the switchboard? Put me through to the Director"s office.
  Abbey
  An unholy force led me to the Abbey, across the bridge of Variolus. I became a Kellogg there. For a long
  time, I was in charge of the grain.
  Devil"s phone
  Dial 188888 - where am I?
  Race game
  Time"s ongoing, dynamic march.
  Companions and Vessels
  Why do I need companions if I"m a driver? I swim like a brick - I need a vessel.
  Gringo
  Russian reality is nothing but a double negative.
  Fountain
  "Triple arch," said the Master, plugging a fountain with a cigarette.
  Mutations
  Man-like apes astride Arabian steeds.
  Tit for Tat
  The Soviets strike back. Conceptually speaking, tit for tat with a statement.
  Comeback
  Love and sports don"t last forever, but sometimes they make a comeback. Or they come in a different
  Headlights
  Halogen lights - saves energy, passes inspection with ease.
  Everyman
  The spectrum goes lengthwise along the wave, but all the aspects go crosswise.
  Cobalt Sex Bomb
  Her man couldn"t hold her and that cobalt sex bomb detonated, hurtling toward the Hawaiian Islands.
  Technical difficulties
  In Judaism, that means tefillin and tallit.
  Mozus
  He stocked up at Chizhik, where you could find mountains of eggs, rolls of paper, nuts, and pizza.
  Rostok and Stella
  Rostok is a hero of the asphalt, while Stella is an independent entity.
  Golden Cabinet
  After Christmas it is by the fire poker and the hearth. Gold turned to bronze.
  Cowards Die Many Times
  The undertaker and the funeral parlor.
  Jerk water and honey cheeseburger
  Cardboard overhead in the downpour and gold teeth flickering in morgue light.
  Caste
  These prissy battling cynics straight out of the Victorian era.
  Funeral Savings
  A biker crashed his bike killing a passenger. An old woman produced her funeral savings and then my
  superior from the criminal investigation unit and I held a wake for the woman.
  Yamaha
  The Guard commander asked, "Ma"am, who are you?", "I"m Makha," she replied. "And I"m Vakha," he
  said with a wink.
  All Water
  Water will always find its way through.
  State
  Having shelved the matter, Petrushka walked out onto thin ice.
  Closed chain
  A chain of five carbon steel grades.
  Hellhole
  A city that doesn"t appear on stamps or in any phonebooks.
  Amazonians
  Dancing in the rain playing coy.
  Murderess
  A music box of instigators and bachelors.
  Porcine Mimetic Pipeline
  Two pigs won"t reverse - and one pig eats another.
  Bite Guard
  The bite guard keeps teeth from rotting into mushroom stumps.
  Towhead
  One phone call to the Towhead is all we needed to sell a Chupa Chup.
  Flier
  A simple airplane in the night sky.
  false Travel Companion
  Ignore the money and the signs - they"re false companions.
  Timati
  The gang leader of the runners.
  Dead Zone
  Sex, drugs, rock and roll - plus a little extra.
  Low Blow
  A right hook from the lee side, straight into the roof.
  Buried
  They waltz eagerly. Their rider says: no wine, no typewriter.
  Silhouette
  Each little imp needs to know his own little spot or his number.
  Behind the Grimy Screen
  Dark classics, wet asphalt grey, tinted glass, a dirty plate, and winter footwear.
  Old hags
  I turned to the soldier, "Soldier, are there hags loitering on your base?" He replied: "Today is marked as a
  holiday on the calendar."
  TV tower
  The criminal took to skis, but the TV tower stopped him cold in winter.
  Road to Lobotomy
  Aron Stepanyan, do you see this too?
  Knuckle sandwich
  Courtesy of the restorer and Stendhal.
  Way of Turtle
  Low crawling in union blues moving from one leaf to the next.
  Zeitnot
  The alarm clock showed half past three. The shotgun and the dog are set for the hunt; we"re waiting for
  the train.
  Sly Bastard
  That sly bastard drank neither juice nor water - he was broke. He sold his own picture for two grand, then
  bought himself some cheap coffee.
  Seamstress
  I offer my gratitude for your hard labor, for your service, and for our intimate collaboration.
  Gaping Heights
  Two comrades, gun smoke from the barrel, an ice palace, a bullet made of shit, horses in the ocean.
  Fur Coat Plus
  Wolf, glasses, other people"s rationale, big names.
  Dignity
  The athlete reached the end of his rope, got addicted to coffee and chocolate, losing his dignity.
  American Way
  Three lines going in three different directions, filling the spatial cube.
  Where"s the Detonator?
  "Where"s the detonator?" - what followed was shamanic chanting and frog-hopping.
  Krang
  My furious mind is coming to a boil - encased in tomato foil. On live television. In a detention room
  beyond the auditorium.
  Hack Icon Painter
  All cut from the same cloth. One for all and all for one - he grabbed God by the beard.
  Errand Boss
  I"ll thrash you so your backside ends up looking like the Union Jack.
  The fall of a Man - Stage by Stage:
  A woman left him.
  He lost his faith.
  His ass was torn to pieces.
  He went completely off the chain.
  He lost his car and his clothes.
  Death reached him out on the streets; by stabbing wound, illness, or exposure.
  David"s Sling
  Dude, did you know that electrons move? I can pump you full of lead.
  Artyom
  Artyom the vampire, come join your friends.
  Poked Mouse
  The mouse that ate the cactus is now glowing in the dark.
  Spam Sender
  Creates a dossier based on two DNA strands.
  Froze Stiff
  Hey mister, we have self-service here.
  Potemkin Villages
  Military service is absent - instead, there are anglers, laundry women, and a commune.
  Toodle-oo
  A breath of fresh air - and he"s gone.
  Ferret
  Overseer of the lower levels at a prison.
  Strainer
  The water is gone, and the black tea remains.
  Dragonfly
  At war with a sweet little old lady.
  Cosmonaut 007
  Always follows a set route and never leaves home without an adjustable wrench, ready for whatever
  might happen.
  First of All
  Public safety, then money-making and lastly - health.
  Wild Boars
  They trod on the hood and crushed the pearls beneath their feet.
  Short Leash
  We need to put you on bread and water.
  At the Turning of Patriarch"s Ponds
  You put your neck on the line for the wrong kind of person, Alexey. It cost you a lung.
  Countermove
  The Soviets propose that the gentlemen should survive.
  Hurricane
  Chalk rocked me like a hurricane and I dealt out kind platitudes to all.
  Fern Frost on the Window
  If there is snow on the roof slopes, it means there is no fire in the fireplace.
  Bullshiting
  You"re bullshiting me, you piece of shit.
  Message to the Heretic
  Cut back on the hacking and smashing.
  Clock with a Pendulum
  As in the World War II, ten sharp blows, struck with precision.
  House-2
  In the winter, the neighbor"s attic and bathroom both went nuts.
  Hellish First Grader
  A mischievous first-grader with a little braid.
  Debt Bondage
  A warlock dead-eyed and punch-the-wall drunk.
  Cat and Lightning
  Lightning will catch a starling, but rarely it might also catch a cat, if it"s near a lightning rod.
  Warlock 2
  You can"t hold a candle to me! A knockdown fine written in a hurry.
  Lucky Letter
  "You"re fired" and some white powder.
  Leprosorium
  What a bitch and not cute one bit. Let yourself die, but save the children.
  Obshchak
  At first light the robber is up on his feet and the enemy lies at your feet.
  Princess Frog
  You"re fat, greedy, and with a dowry - you"ll die alone.
  Techno Nicole
  I grabbed you by the ass like the cheapest whore.
  Funny Pictures
  A person cannot live twice.
  Pleasure-seeker
  A rentier and a party animal - he"s a snake oil salesman, who settled all his debts with society
  Give Me the Coin
  You touch it, you buy it.
  Metal Erosion
  In the beginning, it was a lie - then came perestroika, and then glasnost.
  Up to Code
  You can"t outdrink an eight-star general.
  Slammer
  Premium real estate located on St. Zagorodny Sad.
  Eating Fish
  If you view it from Elektrostal, at a right angle.
  Chandelier with 16 Candles
  Go I know not whither and fetch I know not what - that"s five degrees of separation for you.
  Chance
  The Red Knight"s world has fallen.
  Chicks
  Now recruiting: chicks, Red Star Model Agency.
  Small Mouse
  Small Mouse - Buridan"s ass.
  Grandfather"s Property
  A house, cabbage soup - two servings, a hen, a mountain of beeswax, chic, and pep.
  Raven Knows
  When the trees stood tall, the birds chirped and the brooks babbled.
  Sméagol
  A timid scrawny boy.
  Golden Cloud
  By the Edinburgh Castle"s communal antenna, a golden cloud once lingered.
  General Line of the Party
  In a line formation. Count off by ones and twos! Everyone, stand in your spot.
  Devoid of Feeling
  It has a nice ring to it, it"s meaningless, but well put together.
  Pieces of Eight
  Blind Pew stood by the Bristol store. He grabbed a boy by the arm and asked, "Where"s the Boatswain
  now?", the boy answered, "On the special military operation!". Pew hissed, "Are you giving me the
  runaround?", to which the boy replied, "Here"s a map! It says where the paper gold is. Take it." Pew
  cheered up and hobbled off toward the harbor.
  Ivanovo. Childhood
  Looking through Ivanovo city retrospective I can"t seem to find my old house anywhere.
  Oprichniki
  They carry a vodka bottle in a storage tube and a machine gun in a violin case.
  Automatic Satisficers
  As the call, so the echo. "Your fate is in my hands," said the robot-revolver No. 45
  Valenki
  The concert hall was buzzing, "We came for Bach"s overture!". Then the diva with a honeyed voice
  announced to the crowd, "Comrades, now hear the song Valenki!"
  Approved
  A solid case and a heavy-duty iron.
  Behind Enemy Lines
  I have no ID, no cash, but I pull up in my own car holding two guns.
  Lie Detector
  My former president couldn"t pass a stump‑based lie detector - and then went and poisoned a US high-
  altitude balloon.
  Disarming the Russians
  The scarcity of organic milk and bread, coupled with the subsequent energy crisis, prompted the state"s
  initial effort to disarm its own citizens. A failed effort. The population is concentrating in large cities.
  Russia"s high tech reminds me of Cyberpunk game. The police trade places with the criminals.
  Pink Shop
  This store sells literally everything and the prices are more than fair.
  New Roman
  A classic font for students and academia.
  Walking Through Toads
  A Hog walks through toads, kicking his neighbors.
  Russian Pederation
  This ain"t a republic. Three men"s restrooms are out of order.
  Uppercut
  One punch and another punch. Aron Stepanyan from Enerhodar lands an uppercut. The referee then asked
  his opponent, "Which city is he from?", the blue corner replied, "Leningrad."
  Unclear
  Is it grotesque? Megalomania? It"s tacky.
  Sailor Сap
  A contract sailor is frankly just shitting on his girlfriend"s head.
  Bodhi
  Bodhi took care of me. He poured a healing balm upon my wounds. He tidied up my house. He bought
  me black tea.
  Bombimbom
  You, sir, are a vile blabbermouth!
  Ukrainian on Russian TV
  Can you either just ask for what you want, or tell the truth for once?
  Mayor
  He took care of everything: plumbing, installing electricity, medical aid stations, roads - all for one dollar
  a year.
  Legolas and Gimli - Who Killed More Orcs?
  The factory Director said he doesn"t care either way, "I"m still going to hire them."
  Call to the President
  They told me to call the Russian president. I dialed and asked into the receiver, "Frank?"... "Yes", replied
  the President.
  Forsaken
  One does not forsake. Not while there"s still hope and love in the heart.
  Point
  Russian craftsmen are trying to develop yet another pointless gimmick.
  Dagger
  Where would Slavs get a dagger? This is a lie, a fabrication out of thin air, and a provocation.
  My Conversation with the Sergeant Major
  "Hey Pop, give me some tobacco!", I asked. "Get me a light, my grandson!", said the forefather. Later I
  found out that in the summer he had spent a whole month sleeping on benches in the Hero City.
  Occultists
  Two can play at that game. You need to dance away from the stove.
  Scatterbrain
  The Railway semaphore wasn"t working, so I took an old woman by the arm and helped her across the
  tracks over the wooden planks.
  Duel
  Bang! In your face, from an RPG.
  Shitty Actors 2
  These dogs, for their part, can only play the Dog Waltz.
  Honey, I Shrunk the Pets
  Due to my cat allergy, I shrunk the pets.
  Don"t Look Down on the Folks Next Door
  Some men wear skirts and some women wear tights.
  Angle Bisector
  Grandma, put the receiver down! I"ve got to draw an angle bisector.
  Rustam Amirov
  The research secretary who dotted all the i"s and crossed all the t"s.
  No frost
  The pennies are frozen in the fridge.
  Pannochka
  Darling, we"ll live happily now. My one and only, my dear, my beloved.
  Żupan
  Flu‑syphilis, free elephants - necro‑decay in full bloom.
  End Face
  To enter from the end face in Paris. Here is God and here is the threshold.
  Flea Collar
  A policeman told the monk, "Trim that flea collar - it"s unsightly. You"re headed for the electric chair."
  Golden Volcano
  Erupts and spews gold, that is collected and kept by the dragon.
  Grey Crow
  Pecking at a kefir carton and a raisin loaf.
  X-Files
  Tempered glass carrying data, classified papers filled with secrets, glowing neon signs.
  Sheepshagger and Weathercock
  I turned and told Kolka, "Give us a tune - baa like a sheep!"
  Roundoff
  After performing a roundoff, I lost everyone"s trust.
  Monopoly on God
  You are Russians, God is with you.
  Scrotum
  Testing engineers - stay out of the scrotum. There could be unidentified objects inside.
  Header
  Before you bring in prohibition, you first have to abolish the Law of Spikelets.
  Estate
  Application for Plumbers. On the estate, out in the village, a riser pipe is leaking.
  Izh Store
  Once in a while: candles, leather gloves, animal feed.
  Shift Supervisor
  The stages: change your job, change your habits, change your sexual orientation, and change your gender.
  Oath
  Don"t break your Pioneer oath or the Hippocratic Oath - and destiny will smile upon you.
  People vs. Yuri
  Working with legal entities and financial risks made Yuri, the lawyer, lose his faith.
  Chutzpah
  You don"t want to march, mister, and you don"t want to keep up with the times - but you will dig.
  Imposed
  A big earring, another man"s tobacco, and brotherhood scheming.
  Boots and Sleeves
  Spring arrived, and I was still working in faux leather boots. The supervisor at the welding station handed
  me some protective sleeves. I fetched a stepladder, climbed up, opened the transom windows, and
  replaced the bulb in the light fixture. That evening, the bank added my wages to my savings.
  Kumyk
  The enemy is reaching for Kumyk oil.
  Year of the Pterodactyl
  Moscow visitors have been celebrating for days.
  Handwashing Station
  There"s nothing hollow or empty in the house, apart from the toilet paper and the hand towels.
  Let"s Live
  "Who said that?", the actor asked. The director replied, "I did". "It"s three thousand miles to the Promised
  Land," the actor replied.
  Sharpshooter Robicheau
  He accompanies trains across the cordon, working for the railway police.
  Cast Iron Spout
  A strip of skin between the C cup breasts and bigger, where government officials and senators snort
  cocaine.
  A
  Not a scarlet letter at all.
  Moderator
  Fighting the moderator is pointless - we will join him.
  Head and Hand
  Human head and the human hand are a mystery.
  Vehicle Commander
  The bus driver is the commander of the vehicle. Leaving the vehicle with the engine running and
  passengers still inside, without supervision is a criminal offense.
  Story of the Ogre
  Excursus: "A Brief History of the Middle Ages" as told by the Ogre.
  Lice and Fleas
  Grew numb and horseshoed again.
  Complaint to the President
  The Russian officer"s honor has been wounded. One cannot keep quiet and let it slide.
  Drone
  A soldier without a flight cap and a winter flight jacket.
  Book of Memories
  I"ll name a road after you.
  The 300 North Caucasians
  "Nuclear bluff" holds for now and all the utility issues are sorted out, but later - the Caucasus will bend
  over the entire cities of London and Paris.
  Oxycodone
  London sodomites admire it, even though the gardens have blossomed in your eyes just once.
  Orange Mood
  Working under Mister Colson"s wing makes your temperature go up and puts you in an orange mood.
  Courland
  And on top of that, we"re going to liberate Courland too.
  Russia
  Every sane person needs you.
  Bell
  The bell doesn"t dismiss the coach, the teacher does.
  Medical Fact
  The military doctor loves to examine the head of a red-bearded professor in a formalin jar.
  Treason
  One accident versus another accident.
  Functionary
  Always interprets circumstances in favor of the state.
  Dniester
  You guys live on the riverbank, but won"t give a hand...
  LOL
  For the sake of fruit, he released his people to go on a honeymoon.
  No Blacks
  The slave owner issued a ruling, "Taking a shower every evening is prohibited."
  Got a ticket?
  Yes, but only for a plane and for ballet. For movies and public transport - no tickets.
  Through Snow
  The North Korean ambassador is traveling to the United Nations and the European Union.
  Bio-trash
  It is often encoded and heavily encrypted.
  90, 60, 90
  Doll-like girls in pencil skirts.
  Impulse
  He cranks a Dynamo and works out twice a day.
  Black Gen-Z
  He doesn"t shave zips right through the time loop.
  As Per Stanislavsky
  The collector must perish in a collection drain.
  I Got Cheryl
  From a sawed-off shotgun, standing on the balcony.
  Dog Day Afternoon
  Dog language, dog faith, dog death.
  Un-forgiveness Sunday
  February 22, within your grandchildren"s lifetime. That much is certain.
  Viktor Orbán and Jean‑Claude Van Damme - a Hit on the Lip
  Read my lips, both of you: five thousand dollars.
  A.I.
  Of the dead, speak well or say nothing, but the truth.
  747
  Forgive your brother up until the betting pool and the flight boarding.
  Blue Spirits Trash
  A guy got wasted on methylated spirits and claims that the Earth is flat.
  Thread
  A widow can snip your thread.
  Dry Thorn
  A faded flower, never watered and never fed.
  Chauffeur
  A chauffeur with no clue, inside a moving room.
  Progeny
  Whoever has the thicker blood gets to be the favorite.
  Reds and Whites
  One side came in response to an ad - the other side came out through the window the Europe.
  Pigeon State
  He has no fixed address but he"s very good at taking a dump.
  Shmuel
  The revolving golden letters lodged themselves in my heart and flowed through its wounds like honey.
  Solar Well
  That comes out to nearly half a cube of liquid.
  Defender
  With him you"ll be in safe hands. Men like that are getting rarer.
  Buttonkin - Panikin
  A trial by jury, both comradely and grandmotherly.
  Cuttling
  A little stream started tinkling, and the cutting burst into bloom in the mushroom kingdom.
  Planter
  I kicked the planter and said, "Mary Ivanna is missing," the planter informed me that he had sold the old
  pioneers and bought a poppy straw plantation. He motioned toward the exit with a leather whip.
  Millionaire
  My friend"s going to be a millionaire tomorrow. He borrowed 500,000 rubles from the bank at 25%
  annual interest and put it all into precious metals.
  Clever Move
  I"m a liberal and a wife guy.
  Fear
  An unfiltered media flow and random audio signals.
  Obsessed
  With his pets and with economic imbalances.
  Carbon
  "Is carbon durable?", the dispatcher asked. "Yes, within the matrix of a different material," the machinist
  answered.
  Ice Bullet
  Two drops of water that vanish without a trace.
  Planting
  The planting is canceled - old people are being marked down for missing work. Let the soil take a rest.
  Hand
  When I woke up in the morning, I felt that the hand was my master.
  Undercover Reporter
  Wearing glasses, headphones, and holding a microphone. Also in a bathrobe and a pair of flip‑flops.
  Sponsor
  A girl rashly decided to become the president"s sponsor - and ended up on the front pages of every
  newspaper.
  Paranoia
  Laughter at your back, coughs filling the silences, a tiny private room partitioned off, murky photographs,
  a leaky tap.
  Quantum of Mercy 2
  A discount of one cent on all goods.
  Heating Plant
  Two altars of energy - one false. One for absorption, the other for steam release.
  Little Kamaz
  Its angular resolution limit is the minimum perceptible by the eye - 1
  Henna
  Stained a feeble limb.
  Cardboard Trickster
  Strikes a bottle with a pencil, proclaims it a messenger of evil.
  Plan B
  Dead space and jobs for everyone.
  Chronicle of a Dive Bomber
  It nudges men toward meanderings and toward severity.
  Squiggle
  When a modicum and an iota were reconciled.
  Gloomy
  It was overcast, so he had to take off his glasses and spit out his gum.
  Siberian Strength
  The foul talk remembers you, and it will come for you.
  Apple Cider
  Coming from a happy family, it has a light alcohol content and quenches your thirst.
  80
  Rings on the water and on the tabloid page.
  News from China
  Sensations all the way, and endless burlesque.
  Trajectory
  Calculating the trajectory of two objects - yin and yang, a ball and a cue - that"s classic.
  Rebus
  Two bears sent to a den by the author - they"ll settle in just fine.
  Chess on Ice
  Elephants, horses in full harness, and the king went whirling on a tiny ice floe.
  No Mines
  The information cuts through like a hot knife through butter - swiftly and plainly.
  Gun Story
  The gun is fired at once, without waiting for the final act.
  Paperdo
  Providing medicine and shelter to those who have grown feeble. Restricting the advance of the plague.
  Rylai
  The fallen heroes" armor awaits you - in fetters of ice.
  Pardon Me
  Another point for the doctor - the one who set the process on its proper course.
  Eureka
  I lit a match, having waited ages for the gunboat at the far side of the spyglass.
  Meltable Insert
  Often on the beach, in my black swim trunks.
  Race on Gun Carriages
  What is subject to repair must be repaired. What works must work. What is extracted must be extracted.
  No simplification and no initiative.
  Hornet
  The Golden Five-Year Plan, and the hornet - that one is my protégé.
  Uncertainty
  Wife to husband, "You"re such a pain! Always glued to the TV, I"m going to look for a new husband."
  Ember
  Somewhere around the solar plexus, a little coal smolders inside a snuffbox.
  Orator
  Always keeps his chin up - don"t turn your back on him.
  Lady"s Strength
  The lady has no strength left - was it worth putting the worn-out horse down?
  Little Goat
  The colonel"s car started. Behind the partition for detainees, I found a cardboard box with a severed
  goat"s head inside. A girl came up to me, pressed her forehead against mine, and asked me to give her a
  ride to the "Red Stones." It was freezing cold. I spat and climbed into my goat car.
  Polaroid
  A sudden flash from a poke - welcome to Hong Kong!
  Roof
  Made of glass and bubbles.
  Head Inside the TV Set
  To an uncovered head, a hand is saluted...
  Black Eyes
  You fell in my eyes - by six points at the angle of a dotted line.
  Soup Kit
  Well I never... and hand me a mug of broth.
  Coming Undone
  They gave Grandma a sewing machine - and she got herself a job.
  Three Bozos
  In an infantile manner, the three of them split a bottle.
  Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
  A Native American wearing the cap of a Union soldier of the Federal Army of the USA.
  Ghoul
  The ball of the vampires is about to begin.
  Heathen
  A lyncher and a lame duck.
  White Light
  It emanates from candles, from lanterns, from lighthouses - and from monarchs.
  Right-hand rule
  I"ll teach you a lesson.
  Ultrasound
  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph specifically in that order.
  Penitential Chains
  Something that a one-of-a-kind activist from Montana wears.
  Silver Lion
  My mentor became a "Silver Lion," and the company"s owners gave him a car - a Jaguar. They gave me
  the floor. After praising him, I said, "They gave you this car because you ate your own grandmother."
  Granite
  Fire and water are cast in granite.
  Oath Breaker
  Remember your oath - work for the good of society.
  Dispute
  What comes first - the chicken or the egg? Matter or consciousness? The answer is "That"s two
  completely different matters."
  Flipping Through the Channels
  On the screen: enormous dwarfs, hardened wolves, quacks, polished skulls, and plenty of cigarette smoke.
  Young Man
  Usher said, "Hey, up there in the gallery! Come down here and bring the cat!"
  Prosecutor"s Son
  He"s in charge of the so called "stick system" - he is no stranger to the police, and the court feels like
  home.
  All Wide-Eyed Innocence
  To denounce with conviction and parry the arguments of kings - without saying too much.
  Ledum Shrub
  The ledum has bloomed - shall I bow low to you?
  Slide
  He was a brimstone beast in the process of confiscation and being placed on the counting machine.
  Rat
  This is the damn rat that didn"t eat the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
  Gawkers
  Often drunk - they leave behind defects and unfinished work.
  Monument
  A bust on a stone pedestal.
  Candelabrum
  It shed some light on the changes to the rules of the game.
  Chicanery
  Comrade Gypo: illiterate, left-handed, Jewish, a citizen of the Ivory Coast.
  Nameplate
  It occupies an empty place that isn"t its own.
  HIV Doctor
  "Yeah lady, you got HIV from whoring", you got me.
  Karapet"s Lament
  The thud of horses" hooves is no longer heard, nor the march of soldiers, nor the battle song, nor the
  gleam of bayonets at the bivouac. What does the army still hope for?
  Overtime
  A nearly blind old woman made her way from the bypass road onto the freeway.
  Gone in a whiteout
  Maniacs, punks and boozers were consequently accused in crimes.
  Under cover
  Comrades, only profitable ones operate under cover.
  Brutal
  No alibi? A straight razor might settle it.
  Unreleased volumes
  The shades of a faded grass and weeds of enlightenment, like mandrake roots grown by botanists in a
  greenhouse.
  Ballot
  A old homeless lady sits on a ballot with a broken nose bridge.
  Prig
  A sort of push and pull creature. Pushes and pulls at another"s words, pulling them out of any sense.
  Portrait of Khomeini
  Hundreds of thousands of my followers had a retouched portrait of Khomeini.
  Charter
  Men, drill the charter as long as a candle burns.
  Nazgul
  The world-weary, shaped by hellfire, leads the naïve.
  Reader
  Reads fonts, lands, stars and minds of wasted lives.
  Man overboard!
  He has been riding that banana boat way too long! Give him a hand and pass him a lifebuoy! - the
  Capitan rasped.
  Brother-in-law
  Saved his poor brother-in-law from the depths of the abyss.
  Connection
  A match for a friend, a plug for the low-end.
  The Groggy"s effect
  Golden symbols - no money, no limits.
  Message
  I heard it from a magpie.
  Fierce beast
  Anyone looking to relocate - straight to Ostashkinko.
  (Note: Ostashkino is a huge cemetery)
  Ilyich"s lamp solarium
  It shines and warms, turns your skin slightly tanned.
  Marauder
  On the battlefield blows from above and below.
  Gods don"t do pottery
  Clay world is a fragile one.
  Under the Halo
  Respect for traditions and rules earns admiration.
  Valenok
  Relax - you"re covered.
  The Others
  They neither move like a knight nor evolve.
  Easter egg
  En Easter egg and an onion hidden in a long sock.
  Leka
  Girls, before you start fussing around, you need a proper thrashing, enough to crack nuts with your own
  heads.
  Bantustan
  A slender girl keeps perfectly in line.
  What for?
  To get a string bag and a bicycle.
  Player
  Plays a role and slips away.
  Where the blackcurrant grows
  A flycatcher and a robin sing until sun goes down.
  New turn
  Not every turn needs a turn signal.
  Danger looks bigger through the eyes of fear
  A woman with thick eyebrows and a double-barreled shotgun hunts with elegance - she releases two dogs
  and shoots waterfowl.
  Movies, wine and dominoes
  All of it drifts in sunken ships.
  Taser gun
  A combination of an ebonite rod and a cat in a carrier.
  Breakthrough
  A chevron of the reader marks his right shoulder sleeve.
  Governor Korshunov
  An experienced hunter with the nature of a reasoner uses public transport and never pays for his luggage.
  Crisscross
  A thermos of coffee and sandwiches means in the basement below, someone is waiting to go.
  Jesuit
  The Jesuit"s path lies upon hills, forests and a kingdom of mosquitoes.
  A distribution problem
  To find a place under the sun, water and air.
  Cremation
  Extra hassle.
  Stas
  Behind the wall lived my neighbor, a university applicant who never stopped mumbling and cramming.
  Window burglar
  Does a shoddy job in pants worn to holes.
  My General
  His men admire sheiks.
  Divine Food
  At the Pagan shrine Kapishche left nothing but dust.
  Runaways
  You can find them among your peers, teens and youngsters - so called "Sinelapye" - marked by the
  system.
  Twenty-two rifle
  Strikes vulnerable communities such as Old Believers and Communists.
  Lunar Eclipse
  The girls have to let go of their illusions.
  Star Harbor
  I"ll be there in a flash of starlight.
  Shock Absorbers
  This partnership creates a balanced system.
  Chaos Assembler
  Collects all colors of the spectrum into one and defines deviations.
  Head of the Bureau
  Is in charge of the Celestial Bureau.
  Option
  Same old brand new option - to have a snack break.
  Pavlusenko Emergency
  Keeps nothing to himself but gives everything for others.
  Silent Agreement
  Ivan Borisov is prescribed to wear glasses and to take a vow of celibacy.
  Producer
  He cheats and keeps the receipts in his secret pocket.
  "Eremeyevskoye" LLC
  We don"t skimp on salt when pickling.
  The day after tomorrow
  What will happen to our country? What will we stand for?
  Cop
  Winds up everyone young and old.
  Slice
  The Rabbi would precisely cut each slice of Soviet Union Doctor's sausage.
  Old Mate
  Knows trick riding, has a dark sense of humor and is always ready to be a pallbearer.
  Bonesetter Episkoposyan
  What were you expecting him to be - a thief in law or a bishop?
  Cows and Knights
  They are easy on the eyes.
  Translators: Eugenia Dzugkoeva, Aleksandra Stepovaya
  Editors: Natalia Gosteva, Aleksandra Stepovaya Yaroslavl Translation Service, LLC
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Новые книги авторов СИ, вышедшие из печати:
О.Болдырева "Крадуш. Чужие души" М.Николаев "Вторжение на Землю"

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